Masculinity vs Outrage Culture (Men & Toxic Masculinity, 2019’s Male Victim Scapegoat)

literally the most important thing that
you is a man need to do that that it’s good to change the rest of your life is
not all this political stuff it isn’t is feminism good or bad or is the red pill
the answer for me it isn’t who’s president it isn’t who wronged you all
those things are important and we do need to talk about it but what is going
to save you what is going to make you great is you building your foundation
and if you don’t do that then all those things I just mentioned they well
guaranteed to make you fail I hope that all made sense so this all kind of ties
in to what I’m doing right now which is when I’m not coaching men and doing all
this other stuff I’m making videos for my wife’s real estate channel which you
should check out then yada yada yada I’m finding a new place to shoot by the way
I got a reshoot this whole thing to get a messed up on the focus kind of like
video but I should select don’t worry so how this all ties together is there are
problems there are major major problems in our world right now that are
affecting you you being a man you being a white man a black man an Asian man you
being a man that makes a certain type of money you being a man that gets
respected or disrespected and whatever ways that you can imagine and those
things are very very valid and important but the one thing that is going to
guarantee that that is going to affect you is you not building up your life and
so one of the things that we hear about in men’s development and all this alpha
talk or the fantasy of what we call masculinity is we hear about the things
that can harm us and hurt us but we never hear about the thing that is gonna
save us see we is men we’re gonna have all sorts of resistance throughout our
life that’s guaranteed that’s gonna happen and to be honest I hope it
happens because in some way shape or form you need to learn that it’s not
gonna kill you but what I’m doing right now is I’m working with my wife and a
lot of men’s rights stuff and talks about being a strong male and you know
if you look at the hardcore red pill people they say that if you’re too nice
to your wife right I don’t really get it maybe I’m wrong about it but if you do
too much for her and you love her and you don’t flex your power dynamic and
and she’s gonna leave you and you know you’re a beta and it would be a cut for
the rest of your life which took me a long time to distinguish that that’s
just an insult it’s like calling somebody else I’m sure a Pepsi or a
motherfucker or whatever godmother is just such a nice word I have to go to
Kok it’s just I guess cuz only pick does use the word cock that I think it’s so
stupid the funny thing is the guys that I know that excuse that word the most
actually were cocks meaning they were dudes whose wives fucked other people
and they didn’t know it or maybe they didn’t know it and they let it happen
because they were weak men that’s kind of ironic right basically my wife is a
realtor and I wanted to make money I wanted to be successful it makes her
feel good and like I’ve said in my other videos it’s one of my favorite things to
shoot with her cuz we don’t get to do that much together you know I have four
kids and two are with her and in that entire process we do a lot together we
work really well together when we’re not yelling at each other cuz that happens
to and part of this is building our foundation because it’s what’s important
see the things that are never going to leave me in my life is my family you
know they say family is forever friends come and go but family will always be
there and then what I have built my groups the people around me and those
are my friends and that is a little bit more transient but man there have been
guys in my groups for 12 years and there’s over 10 guys that have been in
my group for over 70 years what’s important about my life is I
spend the time building up those things in all of that I realize that there are
problems there are major dangers in life there are things that are totally
screwed up that are not good like politics like the government like the
laws like whatever like the chick that you dated that is a bad person and the
community of friends that wasn’t really your friends that stabbed you in the
back those things are bad and you’re gonna run into problems like that but if
you are not spending time building up what is vitally important for you to
live a good life to give you confidence to give you somewhere to go to give you
a sense of self and a strong identity so that when you reach different parts of
your life that could be good and bad that confuse you you have a place to
explore and get to a good spot man that’s what
today’s video is all about we recorded a couple weeks ago and it’s good stuff I’m
gonna get back to shooting and plus I shot this entire house and I messed it
up because I broke a lens yesterday’s so I’m using a secondary lens which focus
on it is kind of wacky and a lot of the shots are out of focus so I’m gonna go
reshoot that God you don’t care about it yet okay oh whoa hey guys my name is
Steve Mayeda and I’m a men’s coach in Austin Texas I’m a BJJ practitioner wim
hof enthusiasm a zhing family for awesome boys and a beautiful wife and
what this podcast is about is about being the better man what we talk about
is tried and true because we’ve been doing it well groups of men just like
you so if I say this word I might get banned
if I do this thing I might get judged if I am a man if I am a woman if I am a jiu
jitsu martial artist father ex-con whatever you want to call it I might get
judged this is something where we have moved in our culture in all the wrong
ways and I was just thinking about this well listening to some stuff after I
drop my son off to school and was actually on my way to teach a jiu-jitsu
class I listen to a podcast about toxic masculinity
and we are so caught up in this world about definitions about what it is about
Who I am our identity about what it has to be what I can show the world in
broadcast because that’s a part of my team that we have lost one of the
greatest things about humanity about what we have to offer and about what
being a man is see for me I have a title of being a man being a father being an
American being all these different things but what makes me is my
experience with me what is so important about us in about perspective and about
all of these things is that we cannot be defined by a title by a video by a
reddit forum by articles online by different snippets that we
have on Facebook and so on but what we are defined by is our actions and our
experiences that we have with somebody now don’t get me wrong I hear things
about people and I’m a stereotype I’m a prejudge I might hear how somebody talks
and go oh you must be from Louisiana these are all judgements that I may make
that get overridden by me communicating with somebody and this is what’s
important because in this dialogue about being a man in this dialogue about being
a great man that you are focused and committed on being the best possible
version of yourself every day every day in and out no matter what comes your way
what’s so important about all of that what is so key and vital is that we
never take away the moment from ourselves that we never robbed a
relationship or potential relationship with somebody based on an observation
that we can only see from a distance see when I walk up to somebody and I see
they have a red hat on or a pink hat on or whatever the hell it is that’s a
label that’s an opinion but when I start getting into this mode of I’m right and
you’re wrong or my team believes in blue and you’re red or my team is white and
you’re black or whatever it is this is the biggest thief of humanity right now
connection sex our opinions our individuality is dependent and is
fulfilled and given value upon our unification see we talk a lot about
masculinity and defining that and a lot of times we consider it to be the
opposite of femininity but when things are opposites it doesn’t mean they need
to hate each other it means that they need to merge together it means they
need to understand each other and by understanding each other by mixing with
each other by understanding the feminine by whatever that is through sex through
relationships through understanding the feminity within you through that you can
discover you can find your individuality is a man look I have a lot of friends
right now that have different political opinions from me in fact I don’t really
have any but if I did have any political ideas they’d probably be in the most
anarchist non governmental ways and you know what maybe I’ve grown up a little
bit I couldn’t put a finger on but I hear guys who
I’m friends with that are very liberal that I have certain beliefs that don’t
like my conservative friends what’s so important about that isn’t that we look
past Oh his conservative beliefs I’m gonna swallow you know I’m gonna bite my
tongue on that one or oh man his super left-leaning liberal beliefs I’m gonna
I’m gonna repress that a part of myself because I don’t want to be disrespectful
sure that might be step one but in the reality of it see I want you me and all
these different people to think about different things I want all of us to
think differently because what gives us our value is that we’re not the same
what gives us our worth individually me what makes me special is that I’m not
you but because I’m not you that doesn’t mean that I have to be better than you
that doesn’t mean that you have to be wrong but what’s even better about that
is what gives us all value what makes this world so freakin beautiful is that
we’re all different the fact that you can see me that is different from you
and have a choice whether that’s to like me to dislike me but one of the worst
things that we can have is rob ourselves from choice and only sit in judgment and
there is a difference there and I know it may not seem like that but the
difference is this judgment comes from a wall being put up a barrier that makes
me say that I’m different and don’t have to see more of you choice comes from I
don’t need that wall I can see you I can understand you and I can choose to like
you not like you not see you or be done with this that might be a hard thing to
feel rejection sucks I mean when you think about this in terms of
relationships or friends but I would rather have somebody seat all of me and
me see all of them so that we make a choice about one another and not a
judgement not be dependent on how far we can be how much our social definitions
that we can only see when we’re far apart but never together define us that
is a sad sad world and more of us are seen that is the reality that’s going to
sustain us the reality that brings us wisdom and wealth and love and whatever
all the good things that we’re supposed to have we’ve forgotten how beautiful
connection and connection is dependent upon two
different things or three different things are four or a million different
things coming together and unifying to make something new back to man and woman
and I’ve said this for years especially in the whole nature of sex and seduction
and these beautiful things as man is different than woman they have to be but
they unify together not to prove that one is more powerful than the other but
to become something different I’ll tell you this me alone I’m one
thing and I can know myself but when I connect with a friend when I get
influenced by another person when I share a moment a thought a feeling a
sexual experience with somebody else a new thing happens and a new thing
happens that’s different than me different than that other person and
that is beauty that is the evolution that change the transformation we should
all be moving towards well that was insightful man I’m actually just doing
the the final edits on this bad boy and good lord
anyway editing when you’re tired and editing your wife stuff so crazy but man
we’re at 7000 subscribers thank you guys so much for being a part of this super
super cool and videos to come if you have ideas or anything like that shoot
me an email I get back to everybody in fact I love the guys thing now so sinful
attitude I’ll put a link in the description down
below of how to do of course join our groups because the
cool things that I’m actually about to go meet up with some of the guys is
Friday night but we’re gonna go hit the town in Austin Texas so I’m gonna stop
talking to you and go out and have fun

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