Live recording | Episode LXXV aka 75 | Michael Oldroyd Comedy Podcast

Live recording | Episode LXXV aka 75 | Michael Oldroyd Comedy Podcast


what’s up guys
at the Memorial Day weekend how’s everyone doing let’s see I’m in my
closet here nothing too fancy we’re in the Jordan twenty-three North Carolina
Jersey it’s Memorial Day weekend trying the live podcasts or I’m trying this
YouTube live version for my podcast recording today I think it should be you
know a fun experiment I record my podcasts been doing it since I moved to
New York over four years ago and my podcast has really been an informal low
pressure low stakes just kind of brain dump of my journey I’m able to cat
capture some of the things along the way and some of the things slipped through
the cracks that I don’t talk about obviously
there’s some whoops it goes on in a day it’s hard to capture everything but it’s
a fun way of the way I view my podcasts is it’s it’s like I’m catching up with
an old friend it’s a it’s a one-way conversation right so the types of
things that I talk about on my podcast or basically the same things that I
would talk about with friends when I’m the one talking about myself and what’s
going on in my life and unfortunately I can’t ask about you because it’s a
one-way feed of course I care and I hope that everyone is having a good time and
that there are mediums for you guys to share your thoughts and feelings I guess
the only way I can really interact is through this there’s a chat here on the
right so there is the opportunity to engage in conversation there and ask
questions and then in addition to that obviously I’m
everywhere right so there’s always the opportunity to interact via pretty much
any social media platform now on I’m on everything my my tag or my lizard um my
at symbol for pretty much everything is the Droid THC Droy
D the Droid has been my nickname way longer than the whole horizon phone
thing so I’d love to see of horizon for stealing my nickname they do spell it
wrong though thank the soos – spelled with the Y the correct way the
one the Droid that has been around longer than I’ve been existence though
is Star Wars r2d2 and c3po they’ve been you know around since the 70s but my
nickname Oldroyd has always just been the Droid plates boys for a long time
growing up so I’ve been talking for 3 minutes now about you know really just a
high-level intro here as to who I am and what this podcast is about I appreciate
you guys tuning in feel free to interact feel free to hit me up online any we’re
always trying to build the the following right I’ll follow you back I’m on
Instagram Twitter you know just hit me up send me a DM email me laughs at
Michael Oldroyd comm say what’s up with the comment section I’m not sure if I’m
gonna be able to respond appropriately to all the comments as they come up but
I’ll do my best right because I’m going to be opening and closing a couple
different windows here while I’m recording I’m gonna turn up the dial on
my energy level here once I begin but I do hope that everyone’s having a happy
Memorial Day I do appreciate your guys’s support and
if anyone wants to have intercourse I can’t anymore because I have a
girlfriend but I’d love to so I apologize that I can’t have intercourse
with you at this point in time I do appreciate
the interest though and I’m not really feeling how I look I guess I’ve been
working I just got done with a little lift here it was downstairs us some
power claims nothing too heavy or crazy but I am getting back in shape I’ll talk
about that in a bit you may hear me repeat myself in some ways here in a
couple minutes when I start my podcast up because you know I need to set the
stage appropriate for the podcast itself but this is a glimpse into the kind of
the warm-up or behind the scenes kind of ramp up process the locker-room
of my podcast if you will and if know if you guys are bored and you’re gonna tune
out check this CD out my dad just put it out it’s called the journey by Markel
mark lee Oldroyd mark Oldroyd he plays fook flugelhorn that’s my dad obviously
the old road and Tom Byrne on the guitars they teamed up and my dad
produced this he created he was the composer for a bunch of these songs like
11 or 12 tracks on here mites my dad worked his butt off for it and it’s true
art doesn’t do it to make money but he did have to pay money to get it made so
when he does charge for it it’s pretty much just to recover the cost of you
know making this record and it’s very exciting it’s very soothing and I hope
you guys hear yeah I’m gonna get started here in a second so bear with me I
slightly have to use the restroom but I’ll probably weigh somebody’s knee up one two right for me
so that’s pretty awesome all right I’m excited guys let’s freakin do this my
girlfriends and the other ring taking a nap so I’ve got a couple minutes to do
our thing here all right you guys ready it’s like this mofo could you some music
just to kind of pump it up maybe some jock jams from the 90s let’s do this here we go you can hear the background
music in start ladies and gentlemen it’s Michael Oldroyd back in the house
I appreciate you tuning in as always and it’s been a long time since we’ve done a
Michael Oldroyd comedy potts comedy podcast episode episode 74 was the last
podcast episode that I released and that was pretty much the day after the Super
Bowl I can’t believe it but it’s been almost three months now
I’ve been very busy so the fact that I haven’t put a podcast out there has
nothing to do with laziness or anything like that I have been grinding on all
fronts and I’m very happy to kind of sync up if you will right if you for the
iPhone users or the Android users when you plug your phone in and you sync back
up you get all the new updates update your abs
get update your software all these things that’s pretty much what we’re
gonna do right now with the Michael I’ll try comedy podcast you guys excited
awesome alright let’s start off by talking about not me though right
because especially for the first time listeners why should you want to hear
about me right I mean I know why I want it share and why I want to talk about me
but I think that it’s a bit narcissistic just to talk about me the whole time
let’s well let’s save the narcissism till the end
alright now let’s let’s talk about what’s going on in the world today is
May 27th so it’s almost been exactly three months like I said February 3rd or
4th I think was the Superbowl and we’re almost at June 3rd or 4th so three
months today is Memorial Day it’s been a Memorial Day weekend this year it’s
always a special time right it’s always a special time to celebrate Memorial Day
and remember I mean I think a lot of holidays we should we shouldn’t just
celebrate that thing or be aware of that thing that day and then forget about it
right no matter what it is but it is a day to set aside and specifically
dedicate it toward that it kind of as a mass you know I talked about depending
on what religious holidays you may observe or honor or you know things like
Memorial Day right without getting too deep or too
political Memorial Day does mean a lot to me and
the older that I get the more it means and the more impact it has for me
because I’m sure so many of IIIi have listeners worldwide so you know the fact
that I have listeners worldwide it goes beyond the scope of the US right
Memorial Day really as United States holiday but when you think about some of
the world wars that we’ve participated in that that’s really exactly what it
affected the entire world right you think of World War
World War two this affects everybody so regardless of where you are
I think if you you know if you’re in a non United States country and you’re
listening in you’re thinking why should I observe Memorial Day maybe at least
think back to the brave men and women who stopped the Nazi regime you know we
we teamed up with with a lot of brave people that made a lot of sacrifices
during those times and then you know it’s wars have been going on since the
beginning of time sadly no and it’s war is a terrible thing war is a terrible
thing and killing is uh is is definitely tragic in so many ways and I think every
once in a while you have no choice there’s a difference between murder and
war in my opinion obviously and when you have a choice between allowing people to
do terrible things to continue doing terrible things where you stop them with
a bullet perhaps that’s perhaps that’s justified
but I think it takes a large toll no matter how you rationalize it you know I
think that soldiers that go over there and have to pull the trigger I think it
takes a toll on everybody differently I’ve never had to fight in that way I
have I know people who have I also know people who have lost their lives friends
of mine have fought some come back some of them I have have died serving but it
takes a toll a lot of our veterans come home and they have a lot of PTSD
problems there’s a lot of underdeveloped programs that the US government has for
taking care of our veterans after they come home and I think it just I can’t
imagine the toll it takes yeah man I don’t know it’s hard
we just we just got to appreciate the sacrifices that some of these guys have
made and you know the Eureka community from me where I went to high school in
Missouri we’ve had a few people that we’ve lost you know and it’s a very
personal part of my past and our past and the losses that we’ve experienced
you know guys like Riley Baker he’s our he’s our hometown hero Riley is
he was a marine played football for the Eureka high school he was a tough
linebacker one of the toughest dudes if not the toughest dude I’ve ever known to
be honest first state champion wrestler of Eureka high school an untouchable
dude you know and just he went over there he was fighting and you know you
didn’t come home so we all have to we have to think about we have to think
about those guys guys like the Matt palazzolo and the Tom palazzolo
time is no longer here I think Tom served multiple tours in overseas and
Matt surround shout out to Matt I hope he’s doing well in this weekend we’re
thinking of you Matt so yeah I’m starting a podcast off a little somber
but I think it’s important to really just really reconnect we’ve all I think
most of us have somebody that we’ve lost or multiple people or at least had to
deal with some of the difficulties that come from even when they when our
soldiers do come home and in my world travels some of the ways
that I’ve been impacted most are really during the world wars when I think in in
perspective in broad ways I’ve been to one of the concentration camps Dachau
which is in its near Munich Germany I’ve also been to the beaches of Normandy
Omaha Beach and the summer to the cemetery
where thousands of white tombstones are right
next to the beaches where we lost thousands of of people on d-day and it
really impacted me to see some of these places and some of them you know some of
the just unbelievably most evil and terrible things that you could ever
imagine that happening in these concentration camps I remember learning
and it just it it’s important to be aware of how terrible some people have
been treated and I was so proud and I say this with the bottom of my heart why
not when I saw what took place and some of those Nazi camps when I went to
Dachau and I was looking at pictures and reading some of the things that took
place and just the way that people were treated I felt when I when I in in and
then seeing how the American soldiers teamed up and came together and and
freed that place and eventually you know all the people who all the countries
that stood up against you know Hitler the axis of evil or I forget what it’s
called but the SS army and Hitler’s you know the countries that band with him
when I when I when I realized that the United States had stopped to them I was
so proud I felt the type of American pride that I hadn’t felt before and it
wasn’t until I went over there and saw what we had done to stop that or what we
had stopped I guess you could say what we had traveled over there
put our lives on the line to stop I felt a true sense of light and connection
with the United States of America when I saw that and that’s the us that I
always want our country to live up to I’m not proud of everything that we’re
done domestically or overseas but I can damn I can damn well tell you that I’m
proud that we stopped those fucking Nazis and excuse my language but it was
terrible terrible what they did evil the most vile and just you know Hitler is
the fucking devil and we stopped that motherfucker so anyway yeah yeah I’m
proud of I’m proud of that and I’m thankful for everything all you
know is that our guys did I watched the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan
today when I went to Omaha Beach we had a tour we learned so many things and the
tour guide said that he has spoken with some soldiers that went over there and
he asked if the openings the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan is accurate
if it was you know if it was actually that bad and according to him he said
the guys have said that it was actually worse in real life so count your
blessings I think any of those dudes would have given so much to be able to
say goodbye to their moms you know and give them a hug one last time they died
far away from home far away from home far away from their moms from from the
people that they loved and they only were able to have them in their hearts
but they died not in vain in my opinion so god bless them and you know yeah you
know something interesting that I learned while I was over there is not
everybody that fought for Hitler believed in the cause there was about
20% of Hitler’s armies and the bigger that they the bigger that he got and
that they got the more power obviously the the him and
they call me SS it was like the 20% like the officers of his army that were kind
of on board and carrying out and fulfilling his orders or or whatever and
there were a lot of people that had no choice either die or fight for him a lot
of young kids and you know old people just you know they were just putting
putting bodies out there you know in new lands that they had conquered you know
so if you stood up to him or stood up to them you died which you know what side
do you fight for do you do you die the hero which so many of our guys did
that’s that’s exactly what they did it was rather than saying um I’m gonna
choose my life and I’m gonna fight for Hitler they said fuck Hitler I’m gonna
die fighting that motherfucker and if I have to
and that’s valiant that is warrior status that is warrior status so anyway
yeah I’m starting the the podcast off pretty deep today
and today’s Memorial Day so if there was ever a time to do it
I do think now is the time but yeah I wanted to I’m thinking about your time
thinking about Matt palazzolo and you know just appreciating every oldest
service that anybody who’s ever served you know it’s a multitude of ways
there’s a phrase Allah gave some and some gave all thank you for anybody
who’s ever served no matter how small or big that some is and for those of you
gave all that’s that’s that’s thank you you know so I’m gonna move on but yeah
moment of silence to be honest for that moment of silence for those go all right yeah I know that this is a
solemn mood that I’ve created here so let’s let’s move on you know I think
that it’s important to I’m sure that there’s I think it’s important to acknowledge and and then enjoy all the
fruits of the labor that those guys put in you know which is we live in a I live
in a free country right now we live in a world free from that that terror that
was created there’s a it’s there’s a constant battle that we all have to be
fighting you know individually and as as a country as a world so by no means is
our we we have got we’ve got a lot of problems the world has a lot of problems
right now but let’s let’s focus on the positive
and enjoy the fact that we I’ve got my fruit and this is what I’m choosing to
do with my freedom which is try to bring laughter and love to the world you know
I’m able to pursue comedy and entertainment and I’m so thankful for
that opportunity you know it’s so much that goes into it I’m you know I’ve had
so many my fact of my my parents giving me such a platform to work off of and
their support you know it’s it’s a good thing so yeah I haven’t sold a single
joke yet or been funny but I think that that’s you know IIIi think I said my
piece there and yeah Friday night it was the first weekend night of the Memorial
Day weekend and I was able to meet up with a buddy
I played flag football one season since I stopped playing football which was
like I don’t know 10 years ago and our quarterback you know we had like an
informal practice met some of our new teammates I’m gonna join a flag football
team and where our season starts in a couple weeks so
summer we have a handful of games I’m really excited about getting back into
that mix and we went out after our informal informal practice beautiful day
you know first day Memorial weekend so many people were out in the city it was
awesome we were by the water and Fleet Week was last week so if you guys don’t
know a fleet Fleet Week is it’s where thousands of you know people in the
military the US military come to New York and snag all the chicks yeah snag
all the chicks they they come decked out in their uniforms and they’re on the
they’re on they’re on the prowl baby it’s fun it’s fun to watch you know one
of the one of the guys on my team was was saying how he doesn’t like when the
sailors are out or when they got you know and the guys in uniform are out
because it’s it’s too much competition for the ladies so I thought that that
was pretty fun and funny and it’s a it’s a compliment to the guys in the uniform
right of course it’s competition you know they’re badasses and it’s
competition well deserved so it’s a it’s capitalism at its finest right there
right I’m talking about capitalism in the way that you know competition
competition for for the prize right fair game for everyone and you know put your
best foot forward so that was those fun I saw some ladies
interacting with the dudes in uniform you know I’m single so I wasn’t upset I
was just able to sit back and be like awesome this is great you know so yeah
that was cool it was a great night getting out getting out of that house
and rotating the crops like that again let me let me let me break down the
structure this podcast now so so what I’m gonna do is this is probably gonna
be a long one but I’m going to talk my normal structures I talk for the first
bit I talk about what’s going on in the world
I talk what’s going on in the world of comedy
and then I talk about my world of Camry and then my world that way you know for
the new listeners you’re not gonna be bored with me talking about myself too
much I might you know when I talk about things going on the world am i related
to something or a story that has to do with me but I’ll get back on track and
be hitting the points that have to do with that and then toward the end it’ll
just kind of be like a list of updates that are going on for people like my
friends we’re all so busy and sometimes just on your way to work in the mornings
is the only time you can fill your eardrums with this but you know it feels
good to fuel up and whatever you know friends family fans whoever it is that
you’re listening to you know I love ya it’s all love baby I got that 360 love
going son right from the core of my being up down side to side three
dimensions time space for backwards in time currently anthem and forward and
thought you know dude I’m just like a sphere of love baby you know just like
radiating infinitely throughout the universe and and one of the mediums that
you can receive dying love is through this podcast so thank you for tuning in
it should hold me only holy Norrish dining soul all right so yet the let’s
talk about what else is going on in the world the Blues are in the Stanley Cup
right now right hey the Blues versus the Boston Bruins Bruins excuse me
in fact I think that game is going on right now it’s about 8:54 p.m. on Monday
Memorial Day May 27th I’m missing the game right now because I’m recording
this freaking podcast I’m doing that the sacrifices I make for you guys you know
that the sacrifices I make for you but the Blues and the Bruins are in it
Boston versus st. Louis I got to tell you tons and tons of my friends in st.
Louis are excited right now they’ve been waiting you know for the the Blues to go
to the Stanley Cup Playoffs four years some of them their entire life I I don’t
know if the Blues have ever even been in the Stanley Cup all I know is for me and
friends under my age they haven’t depended not in that time period so it
is really cool one of my best friends he’s been on the podcast before Tyler
Shay Frank just had his baby daughter for the first time and she was born that
they the Blues beat the Sharks for the final time and earned their opportunity
to go to the championship so that’s a special thing for Tyler give it up for
Tyler Chafin guys his daughter Sienna was born and hopefully we can bring home
a nice little championship every year on her birthday he’ll always remember that
it was the day the Blues found out I think it’s destiny is what that is guys
so it was nice getting to see him when I was in Missouri you know most recently
which was just one in when was that guys was it in May or April I think was April
don’t I was when the spring game from Missouri football was time flies so fast
but I was able to go and check out his diaper party I put on a diaper myself
because I didn’t know what a diaper party was I didn’t realize you’re
supposed to bring a bunch of diapers so I wore a man diaper and showed up to his
parents house and I’m not sure if everyone thought it was funny some
people thought it was hilarious I think some people were like what the heaven is
this nevertheless I think Tyler found it humorous he was laughing and I guess
that’s all it truly matters but it was a great time and I was able to get him
some I brought him some some bags that you can clean poop with so I did bring
him something including my my presence well we had a great time talking about
whether or not Michael Jackson is guilty for the crimes or whether or not we
think he’s guilty which we’ll talk about later talked a lot about Game of Thrones
I was disappointed my prediction for the Game of Thrones was actually that Theon
Greyjoy was going to end up sitting on the Iron Throne nobody agreed with that
prediction in fact it’s really stupid glad pay anything is
possible and the sky is the freakin limit yeah so uh you know when it comes
to worldly updates a lots happened since you know so Superbowl the Grammys happen
a while back I’m not gonna talk about that cuz you know it’s not relevant
anymore it’s been a while I don’t even remember who won
so Will Smith Will Smith I don’t know if you get this is a random update I don’t
know if it’s really worldly but he put out a bunch of videos on Facebook he
made these quality videos of him knocking off bucket list items and I
thought that that was pretty cool and I realized that I connect with Will Smith
in one way or at least that when I was younger I had the same mindset of facing
fears and the importance of overcoming the obstacle of fear right and I do
agree with him now especially more than ever that so many terrible things have
been done in the name of fear I mean we already talked about it earlier there
were people fighting for Hitler because they were afraid of what would happen if
if they didn’t fight for him right so fear is the heart of evil I believe or
allowing fear to have power and the way that you remove the power that fear has
is by facing it by defeating it by overcoming it by creating fear against
fear itself right that’s you wanna you want to boss that that’s what Batman
does he becomes you know the reckoning for all the bad guys right he he has
turned fear into something that he has faced his fears by overcoming them
through his fear of bats etc and then he is what the villains fear most he’s what
the bad guys fear most until he meets his closest competitor you know somebody
like the Joker I don’t I don’t think that Joker necessarily is afraid of him
but he definitely the Joker’s is entertained by appreciates the courtship
so weird dynamic speaking of the Joker Joaquin Phoenix is gonna be coming out
with a new version of the Joker so that’ll be exciting to watch it enough
to get seen any previews anyway going back to the Will Smith thing he did a
video where he was swam with sharks which was pretty cool yeah I thought
that that was pretty that was cool that was not in a cage either he actually
swam in shark-infested waters with a team and you know put his life on the
line for it right the worst thing that can happen there is death and afterwards
he felt like he had conquered that fear and something great yeah I recommend the
idea of facing fears it’s gotten me the success that I’ve had in my life and
there are different kinds of fears one of my favorite quotes is by Michael
Jordan and I’m wearing his jersey right now number 23 mr. Michael Jeffrey Jordan
my favorite quote well I’ve got a couple but he ended his Hall of Fame induction
speech with a quote that stuck with me and I knew it was important because he
said it last and he said remember that limits like fears are often just an
illusion so really the power that we give fear is what creates will creates
it right it’s an illusion you know so if you allow it to have power over you if
you you know don’t step up to it that you’re creating so know that you can
conquer those know that it’s most likely an illusion know that that fear that you
have is most likely in your head and that whatever you’re afraid of the
consequence for whatever is is usually not as bad if done in the name of good
right like they’re I you know make sure that you’re not just facing fears where
they constitute the consequences are hurting others I don’t think that that’s
fear I think that’s ill placed you know you’ll placed an eel place
place to try and overcome that nevertheless though all right I’m day I
digress I think is the appropriate term for that there was a there was a quote
that an acting agent told me recently that Will Smith said which is this is
not about fear but it’s important I wrote it down I want to say which is any
time that you don’t spend on your dream is time basically wasted right so if
you’re not going 100% all-in toward whatever it is that you’re wanting to do
it’s a distraction and I agree with that because when it comes to achieving goals
and obstacles you need to focus on the bull’s eye in anything that you’re not
going directly toward that bull’s eye sure I understand we all have had to
take detours or roundabout things throughout our life but I don’t know if
you’re courageous enough to just go through straight for that bull’s eye and
and forget everything else reckless abandon I don’t know that’s that’s a
beautiful sight to watch and to feel I don’t know if anyone’s here or felt what
it feels like to you to throw everything to the wind and just go straight for the
bull’s eye I’ve felt it at various times and in my own pursuits in life web
played football was exactly that I always thought to myself I’ll figure out
the rest later I figure out what I’m gonna do with my life later football
doesn’t work out and it all worked out you know that’s the cool thing about
facing here for yours is usually you know your rational practical – playing
tricks on more gotta go with that gut baby you got to go with that hard son
you feel you feel what I’m saying Shen so yeah I am live-streaming this podcast
on YouTube right now so follow my youtube channel at the Droid the0 yd
well I think that this channel is called lol droids stories so lol space Droy D
space stories anyway so we’ve talked about the Blues talked about how we’re
now going to talk about the Grammys talked about Will Smith facing his fears
on these Facebook video a game of Thrones guys this is more
relevant than the Will Smith stuff that was kind of me adding that in but that’s
not really a trending topic worldwide so if it wasn’t right up your wheelhouse I
apologize for that nevertheless though we’ve got the game of Thrones yeah I saw some subway performers
performing Game of Thrones it was awesome
it made me very aroused I was very very stimulated um I saw that was probably a
year or two ago in New York and then I saw some more Game of Thrones some
people playing some game of Thrones things and Spain when I was in Spain
with my mom last October we’re in Madrid hi and from Madrid for those of you who
are watching on YouTube because his Real Madrid hat I got this house I got a real
Madrid Jersey and sure enough they won me a year before and they won again
after I bought that hat because I bought the Hat that’s why I Madrid won guys cuz
I’m good luck son all right so let’s move on and talk about Game of Thrones
everybody’s sad everybody said about the ending guess what I was sad too all
right i ah you know I wanted to see Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen fornicating
on the Iron Throne if you didn’t you’re lying to yourself yeah well she was touching that throne I
wanted them to approach bend her over and just railer up the tailpipe but
unfortunately that’s not what happened oh by the way I do have to admit I was
very sad when she when she went crazy and started burning everybody alive I
was like what in the heaven is this right where is the writing coming on
coming from on this is completely atypical John I blame John snow though I
think that John snow didn’t give her daddy when she needed at that night
before right she was just longing for some D and he rejected her I don’t know
why he reject her I was talking to some people and they think it’s because
they’re related so maybe John Snow felt weird
you know I have an intercourse with his aunt but dude his aunt is hot all right
I don’t know what John snow was thinking yeah it was a little weird I have to
admit but I mean there’s worse points out there that people make right
whole-step sibling thing is an interesting genre
I guess that’s more appropriate than what Jon Snow was the uncas I guess he
actually was blood Lee blood related to to to Danny but hey who else was yeah I
don’t know man weird stuff you know I mean come on writers a game of Thrones
or just confusing us making us ask ourselves what in the heaven is this but
nevertheless when she was burning everybody yeah that was that’s pretty
pretty sad you know I mean it is just a show though and you know when she was
doing that speech in that final episode it reminded me of the that redheaded
dude from Harry Potter whenever he was doing the first order speech in episode
7 of Star Wars do you guys remember that when he was a he was given that first
order speech you know it was uh it was badass of Danny but again it was like
jeez you know I guess I guess someone needed a tamer I my thought is that Jon
Snow should have really tamed her with that D that’s really what it’s all about
right he needed to exert his power through that day and
and tame her reign tame her her you know guide her down a different path I think
that her overall intentions were good she wanted to create peace for the world
but she was going about it in a non peaceful manner all of a sudden and more
than ever right so and her plans did not sound very peaceful so it’s like Jon
Snow give her that D and talk some sense into her don’t kill her you freaking
putz yeah to heaven yeah I’m like freaking guide her bra step up your that
you have you have the opportunity to checkmate her because of your bloodline
why don’t you freaking step up and talk some sense into her why kill her you
freaking putz I don’t know I think he could have I think he should have tried
and he should have tried harder he should have pushed her more exerted that
king card on her you know but in the end he’s banished oh by the way Game of
Thrones spoilers I forgot to warn you guys sorry about that
but anyway I didn’t like how he was banished at least he got to hang out
with his redheaded buddy you know and maybe they could have brought back to
life as is in real life wife you know she died several seasons ago man they
could have brought her back from the dead and he could be had some babies
with her I don’t know I mean he was brought back from the dead right did
anyone else make a some sort of a christ-like connection with Jon Snow
when he was resurrected from the dead he was a good king came back from the dead
what no one ever talked about that how is that not a more talked about thing
you freaking klutzes all right let’s move on yeah so Game of Thrones it’s
over people have signed a petition they want to see different endings that’s
funny I don’t think that’s how it works guys but nice nice glad you’re doing
something glad you’re spending your your freedom on some
than constructive you know yeah they’re not gonna they’re not gonna redo the
endings right the best chance you’re gonna get is that the writer of Game of
Thrones will write a different ending to the books that’s that’s the best it’s
gonna get and if you’re very lucky maybe you’ll meet Emilia Clarke and have a
relationship with her and ask her to roleplay maybe do a little bit of
LARPing is that what they call it where your little cosplay I mean maybe she
could dress up like Denarius for you that’s it’s a secret fantasy of mine
don’t tell my girlfriend but I’d love for Denarius and I to have a night where
she said Jon Snow just won’t give me the D and I’m like Danny I’ll give you the D
I’ll get through the day I think that that’d be a fun little thing if I could
just go ahead and rotate the crops with Danny and I don’t mean that
disrespectfully I don’t just want to sound like one of those wild what is
that hey guys the Dothraki that she killed for being disrespectful Danny it
would be a lovemaking session that I would love to offer and present if
you’re open to it that’s the difference between me and the Dothraki Ruud meant
they were talking about doing it regardless of her feelings toward it I I
would I would love to have a mutually beneficial situation where she needs
that day and I’m able to provide it all right I’m sorry if I’m being too sexual
on this podcast I apologize let’s just pretend that idea I mean them you know I’d give her that Denarius and give her
that I’d give her dad laughter I’d give her some humor you know invite her to a
show you know make her giggle all right moving on I’d give her that comedy Oh
all right let’s take it quick I’m not gonna take a quick pause I’m
just gonna pretend I’m taking a pause oh we got somebody who’s joined somebody
who’s watching the podcast right now what’s up that’s Oh whoever that is I
appreciate you tuning in I’m gonna keep going
right so Game of Thrones move on what else is going on in the world we’ve got
a trade war going on with China right now so that’s interesting I was in China
last year didn’t have the greatest experience they’re sad to see that we’re
having a tariff battle with them but glad that it’s only a freakin tariff
battle right like who cares it’s a tariff freakin battle that’s nothing
that’s hogwash hogwash not even a big deal get it out of the news he’s
freaking plotz’s I know a guy who lives in my building he just started a
business selling some sort of top-shelf alcohol in China it was like and I felt
so cool because I know what’s going on in the world I was like how are the
tariffs affecting your business I feel awesome
you know and quite frankly he said it doesn’t matter because he just charges
an extra premium so you know his profits remain the same so interesting that’s
always what else movies movies is a fun topic to talk about you guys see any
good movies Aladdin I have not seen that yet the interesting speaking of Will
Smith of course that he is playing the genie a very buff genie I heard I don’t
know how people feel about buff genies but I don’t care as long as the genie
can give me the wishes I don’t care if the genie is fat skinny buff tiny short
I don’t care if the genie looks like the little dwarf in Game of Thrones in fact
I would be more appropriate because he might be able to actually fit inside of
a lamp all right you guys seen the New Avengers movies because I have not I
have not seen the New Avengers movies I’d like to but I do not have time so I
really can’t talk about that everyone’s talking about the Avengers though I
think that’s actually old news so if it is I apologize and remember I’m talking
about what’s that the last three months right now trying
not to be too outdated or irrelevant but just in case you didn’t see the Star
Wars trailer from like two months ago that did come out for Episode nine the
movies coming out later this year I am very excited ray will you marry me I
know that I have a girlfriend but perhaps we could go on a double date
some night you know me you and my girlfriend I guess that’s not really a
double date it would just be the three of us and we could all rotate the crops
and maybe we could even invite Daenerys Targaryen to join us as a fourth person
and we could all just I’m just gonna give you that comedy you know what I
mean it’s what I want to provide for you ladies all right
let’s move on I have seen some movies on my own lately that I think are fun and
worth mentioning they’re a little outdated
forgive me I’m all over the place but Denzel Washington came out with a couple
flicks over the last few years it’s called equalizer 1 & 2 man what a bad
ace set of flicks guys I like the first one better I’ll be honest the second one
seemed a bit far-fetched but Denzel Washington played this kind of you know
vigilante type character it reminded me of the John wick movies I don’t know if
you guys have seen John wick but those are kind of like that thing where
they’re like commissioned like their duty requires them to get rid of the bad
guys there’s a difference between going out and killing bad guys and then
protecting yourself from the bad guys killing you right if you go out and you
kill bad dudes you’re actually bad in my opinion because you’re actually you’re
casting judgment and you’re killing right Batman does not go kill but when
people are coming after you right and they’re trying to kill you or your
family or things and they have an agenda and they won’t stop unless unless they
die hey in that case I think that you might be having that much of a choice
but – I think you may not have a choice and
situation and the killing may be justified it’s an interesting topic
obviously and we talked about the whole world world wars you know we talked
about Wars earlier so the whole that line between when it’s okay and when
it’s not is I think there’s a clear line there
you know Superman had to kill what’s-his-face and that one flicking it
really pained him I don’t know if you guys have seen that movie where he had
to kill the villain recently they they finally had Superman kill somebody it’s
because he was the bad dude was trying to kill innocent people and if he did
not stop him in that moment the only choice to stop him was to kill him you
know I guess it was a justified kill I don’t know weird stuff though guys weird
stuff weird wild stuff they say if you live by the sword you die by this short
if you guys you’ve heard that before I mean if you kill you’ll be killed so I
don’t know anyway uh check out the equalizer definitely a good thinker
there’s some religious connotations behind it there’s some symbolism there’s
a painting of the Archangel Saint Michael behind one of these scenes that
he’s playing and I read some some articles because I was intrigued and
they actually talked about the Archangel and an avenging angel is kind of
somewhat of a figure that they had Denzel Washington’s character play
I knew this without even needing to know that I just had that sense because guys
you know what I’m saying we’re on that wavelength together me and Denzel me and
Denzel know what’s up you feel I just got to say if I ever meet you Denzel I
just I just want to say let’s do a movie together huh can we do a freaking flick
together because I think we’d have a good time moving on from the Denzel
Washington flicks I checked out venom I tried a star’s three-week I don’t know
if you guys have then the free week subscription two stars before they
charge you and then I can so the credit card the day that they
were about to charge me and I got to watch the equalizer flicks and then I
got to watch a venom right with Tom Hardy Tom Hardy plays the good guy in
this one guys hey yo Brett he’s versatile you know I’m saying so let’s
give it up for Tom Hardy playing venom that’s a that’s an interesting one it’s
so he’s possessed by an alien guys that’s a weird that’s a thinker for you
huh usually a possession is not not
associated with a good thing but Hollywood flipped it on us huh they
really flipped us they really you know ran us for a loop on that one so let’s
give it up for that alien possession that the alien that became good and had
a good heart you know and helped Tom Hardy become a good person and defeat
the bad guy guys deep stuff deep stuff you know I mean so that was fun and then
a couple a couple other flicks I’ve watched finishing this topic of movies
Muhammad Ali documentary I think it was produced by LeBron James I think there’s
more than one part that’s coming out but I watched the first installation of this
it’s it’s like an autobiographical version of Muhammad Ali’s life and super
super freakin interesting that dude was intriguing to say the least
very confident all right dude was on a mission a spiritual quest if I will if I
may write I’m gonna have to say I identify with Muhammad Ali in some ways
now I’m not Muslim but I don’t but I appreciate the good in all religions and
I think that there are a lot of ties and connections amongst them
I think it’s ignorance that causes us to just but you know they say don’t talk
about politics and religion I opened up talking about Wars too
and world war wanted to so I think I’ve pretty much ruined that but let’s just
say that about what I was talking about must be the CTE from my football days no
Muhammad oddly was was definitely was definitely badass I loved his
competitive spirit his confidence his self-fulfilling prophecies you know he
was so confident you know he said I’m the baddest man alive I’m thinking about
revealing how cocky I am on the inside after watching mom Rowley I do feel that
I am on a spiritual mission myself and I am here to bring infinite love and
laughter to the world so I guess time will tell as to whether or not this this
premonition is is correct nevertheless though you know Joe Biden or no before I
go on Mike Tyson I watched this Mike Tyson thing on ESPN that dude is so
intriguing man I don’t know if you guys have ever seen his HBO one-man show but
it’s literally the funniest thing I’ve ever seen it’s funnier than 99% of the
comedy specials that I’ve seen in my life and it’s not a comedy special it’s
him talking about its life Mike Tyson is hilarious I think honesty is hilarious
and that’s what Muhammad Ali was talking about like Muhammad Ali he said that
when he’s joking all he’s doing is his type his form of joking is just being
extremely honest and that’s what I believe I think honesty is such a
gigantic bedrock of humor people that are brave enough to actually be honest
it’s it’s refreshing and it’s very arousing to be honest I found myself
attracted to an 82 year old woman once who had a great sense of humor and I’ve
never felt physically pulled to a woman of that age and I was intimidated by her
she had a great sense of humor and I I felt upset with myself for not stepping
up to the plate and hitting on her and asking for her number I I didn’t I did I
back that day and it’s unfortunate but
nevertheless Mike Tyson check out his stuff very funny dude he talked about
how he had a spiritual revelation when he tried some some drug in it he met
some toad in this dream and it made me laugh like him meeting some
toad in his hallucination like James’s life and like he talked about how his
his ego and his pride created the famous person that he was and but he doesn’t
really like that person but at the same time he like he doesn’t like the ego and
pride version of himself because you know it led to him being someone who he
doesn’t want to be you know wanting the limelight and all these things but he
also loves that person because it helped him like eat and become who he is but
he’s real chill now he’s pretty docile smokes a lot of marijuana but the thing
that really stood out to me that I thought was special was when they talked
to he started talking about love and his and his wife and he talked about how the
love of his life is his wife write out all the things he’s accomplished and
done and all those things he said that the love of his life is his wife and he
said that he’s not good enough for her and that she has won the race
in life over him that she knows of all his terrible things loves him for and
all the things he’s done and loves him regardless and he just he he genuinely
wasn’t bullshitting you can tell when Mike Tyson doesn’t bullshit he was not
just saying that because it sounds good he was saying genuine million but he
thinks his wife is better than him and he’s infinitely lucky to have her and I
thought that that was really special and big of him really to admit that you know
the to admit that he feels that way at least and yeah Mike Tyson is a creature
that I’d like to meet as well Mike Tyson if you’re out there let’s get together
and do a comedy special same with Denzel Washington let’s do a flick together huh
we can create the equalized three would be a lot of fun all right
let’s see here Joe Biden is running for president hey don’t talk about religion
or politics guys what is Joe Biden doing what I mean I mean we live in a very
weird world right now Joe Biden I don’t think even knows what’s going on he’s a
nice guy Joe Biden reminds me of the type of dude that we all we all have a
Joe Biden in our family he’s a good dude he’s not the most successful person in
the family but we all like him you know what I mean he’s like that one dude
that’s just there he’s smiling right you you don’t always know what he’s saying
when he talks but you always smile y’all always laugh at his jokes because you
know he’s got a good heart he’s not the most successful couldn’t survive on his
own you know but he’s definitely he’s definitely a warm spirit he’s a good
person to have around not sure if he is an appropriate person to be the
president of the United States nor is Donald Trump so I mean I don’t know
where we live enough did you guys see speaking of politics did you guys
freaking see that endorsement that John Boyd put on on Twitter recently what in
the heaven was that this dude got on Twitter and started he created this like
perfect video about how Donald Trump is the greatest president since Abraham
Lincoln and it’s like who put a gun to his head and had him make that video
it’s so random and out of nowhere and I really think that it’s in it I think
it’s the trailer for enemy of the state to I don’t know if you guys have seen
enemy an enemy of the state with Will Smith but Jon Voight was the villain and
once again I think he’s a felon I think he’s teamed forces with Trump and
they’re making a second movie called enemy of the Union so you guys got to
check that out it’s definitely gonna be entertaining for you what out some Joe
Biden is running for president with against Bernie Sanders that is fun great
stuff great stuff is Bernie Sanders run I’m not sure I’d like to know I think
that that’d be a fun thing to watch them debate each other we live in a unique
time I’d like to see one of them Bernie Sanders is unique men all right what’s
the move one comes from politics you guys are awesome I’ve got i’ve got
people tuned in right now all right so the next thing on the agenda before as
I’m finishing up what’s going on in the world I have to talk about my dad CD
it’s called the journey it is Mark Lee Oldroyd on flugelhorn
Tom Berg you can find it anywhere on the internet Spotify I think anywhere except
iTunes right now but just type in the journey and type in mark Oldroyd ma RK o
o LD ry d you can buy the CD my dad is he’s worked as he’s worked so hard on
this and there’s a picture of him on the back this is where we live in Missouri
by the way it’s where my parents live the back the street where I used to run
up and down constantly training for football when I was younger so I used to
run up those hills like Walter paid and then Jerry Rice they inspired me to do
Hill running so we had our own version of Hills in a Wildwood Missouri the name
lives up to how it sounds it’s a very Wildwood area it’s called the journey
and then if on the front of this cover if you notice it’s a like basically like
an area where you see New York on one or the big city and then you see like this
cool like nature trees and stuff and if you look closely it’s actually in the
shape of a guitar so yeah my dad’s been to New York he’s experienced the big
city moved to LA I lived in there he lived out in LA pursuing music for for a
long time he’s a great trumpet player he served in Memorial Day speaking of the
egg please played trumpet in the army band he was during the Vietnam era he
would go around and play taps for the soldiers usually on Memorial Day of my
dad will go out and he’ll play taps in the backyard here in Missouri and you
can hear it for miles because we live in an area where it’s pretty
quiet and the sound travels because of the valley and it’s beautiful it’s you
know it’s one of those deals where when you hear it you don’t even want to like
say anything afterwards you don’t want to say good job you don’t want to say
wow that sounded great because it almost ruins how special it is you just have
like move on with your day so my dad has been able to serve that’s an important
part of service is honoring the fallen properly and taps is you know it’s it’s
a it’s a special song I don’t know if song is the right word but it’s a
special you know set of sounds and yeah check out this check out this deal here
it’s pretty fun my dad was a crazy crazy story or he’s in LA right now he’s
meeting with some of his old music friends and he last time I think we were
in LA together he took me to the Playboy Mansion he used to work for Playboy so I
got to go meet his old boss who was still working there and get a tour of
the Playboy Mansion and who else can say that their dad was the one that got him
in the Playboy Mansion they rarely let guys in there and they
have some Playboy comedy show I need to look into doing that sometime that’d be
pretty fun you know but I’ve got some free CDs while I was there got to meet a
couple of Playboy Bunnies and by that I’m talking about the bunnies in the zoo
part they actually have little bunny rabbits so that was pretty cool I wonder
what those I wonder if those rabbits celebrate Easter you know what I mean I
wonder if playboy bunnies celebrate Easter you know I mean all right let’s
move on so a couple other things going on in the world the Michael Jackson
documentary I always me and my friends are always arguing about whether or not
we think that that stuff is true everybody tells me it hands down it’s
true they get mad at me for thinking it’s not there’s some stuff that’s come
out let me just say this there’s a video that came out not long ago that talks
about the people in that documentary and how the
one of them is like a pathological liar so and again it gives evidence and
things like that so really who knows if it’s true I will never I will not defend
a pedophile but I will not convict somebody of a crime without truly
knowing right there’s a phrase out there that only god can judge and I believe
that part of that is because you have to know everything before you can actually
convict somebody just because you see something on TV does not make something
real in fact it’s a very dangerous thing to think is that just because you see it
on TV that it’s automatically real we saw the Ted Bundy movie with Zac Efron
recently my girlfriend and I watch that has anybody seen the ten Bundy movie
what the heck you know what I mean frigging Zac Efron playing Ted Bundy has
some weird stuff you know what I mean wow that is some weird stuff do you guys
think Ted Bundy’s guilty apparently it’s pretty clear but I don’t know the whole
story behind it so apparently they have an entire thing on Netflix about Ted
Bundy as well and I will say was it was interesting watching Zac Efron that dude
let’s give it up for the range of Zac Efron’s acting you know what I mean
starting off as a Disney thing now playing Ted Bundy I mean that’s range
the he also played a marine in some like Nicholas Sparks movie I don’t know if
you guys saw that but he like played a marine came home and was I wanted to
throw up when I saw that because I was like dude Zac Efron does not get the
right to play a marine right like this is the most soft bullshit I’ve ever seen
but I know no I’m not hating on Zac Efron I think he’d be a fun person to
hang out with I to have a beer with him and go ahead on chicks if I was single I
have no problems with sag Efron but I do have a problem with him playing a marine
in a movie that’s that’s my only complaint everything else I don’t I
don’t care about but whoever cast that you need to get your thumb out of your
buttocks and recast that movie I’m gonna I’m gonna start a petition the way they
did with thrones to remake that movie with a
different actor and have have Marines played by people that are a little bit
more legit at you know that someone that has earned that that status so anyway
going back to a couple things that have happened again over the last couple
months Mike Prince if you’re out there we pre
please respond to my freaking calls Mike Prince was a football player at Mizzou
he was one of my buddies dropped off the face of the earth he moved over to
England he played rugby for awhile after after football and he was like a
professional rugby player met a girl settled down at I caught up with him on
skype ones have a couple years ago and his voice had changed he’s got an
English accent now which was hilarious he wasn’t joking it was a real English
accent so we had so many good deep conversations
last time I talked to him we’re connected with him on Facebook he was
living in Christchurch so I hope he’s okay I hope that you guys if anybody
knows of Mike princes whereabouts let me know if he’s if he’s good I don’t know
maybe he’s living somewhere else but I hope he’s doing okay he didn’t respond
to my texts or my skype got a different number somebody else said wrong number
now so yeah him yet Mike I hope you’re doing well we had some good
conversations about philosophy and life in the past he talked about how something that was interesting that Mike
Prince and I talked about was how the Emperor’s of Rome used to hire one
person one person’s job was dedicated just to remind the Emperor every once in
a while remember that you have mortal I think that that’s really cool that would
have been my job right because I would have like fooled around and all kinds of
all kinds of crazy stuff I think that that was pretty much my job at my last
company for my I worked for one of my buddies
and I think my job was just to remind him and help him remember that he’s
mortal you know he was he was you know he did pretty well financially and I
think somebody does need to make sure that his ego it just to release the play
pressure there every once in a while and let him know that he’s mortal you know
the man like I think that that would have been my job back in the old days
was to remind the Emperor that he’s immortal
in some way shape or form ooh is that a threat
I don’t know you know what else the immigration problem
I saw a shirt recently that said Muhammad Jason and Mary are all
immigrants I thought that was pretty cool I think it’s a good reminder for
all of us to be aware of in fact I recently did a show somebody else hit me
up because of a positive promotion that they heard about me and there’s a Muslim
comedy show here in New York and they they asked me if I perform for their
show which that’s gonna be coming up that’s pretty cool yes I am performing
in that you can probably see it on Facebook somewhere I’ll have to look it
up yeah I forget the name but we’ll talk about it in the future
nevertheless though people and I don’t think this is a random point and I
apologize because it’s kind of out of character but I just want to say people
on social media don’t have souls or know who they are they just want attention
that’s a bullet point that I wrote down I don’t actually think that word for
word but hear me out I think sometimes people just want attention and they
won’t even say what their true opinions are and something they just want to like
align themselves with what’s trending I know this because I’ve done it before
now I it’s important to speak your truth you know what I mean and you know just
because Barcelona wins the freaking World Cup doesn’t mean you update your
your status in Spanish and start bragging about how you studied abroad in
Spain for four years all right that’s my I’ve seen them before I want
throw up don’t be a sunshine patriot you know sure if certain experience has
happened to bring bring things out and that you’re relate to I guess I’m just
hating she probably I don’t think she actually did anything wrong if she
actually studied abroad and can speak Spanish what am I talking about you guys
get what I’m saying though there’s some people out there that just are selling
their souls for some Instagram followers by the way if you guys wouldn’t mind
following on Instagram I’d greatly appreciate it my app is the droid TG dro
why the awesome thank you I’m on snapchat as well I put a funny snapchat
of my girlfriend recently telling me who her favorite athlete is you guys ought
to check it out my snap is the Droid anyway uh so we talked about some fun
stuff here we talked about some fun stuff I don’t believe everything I hear
in the news I’m not saying I believe that everything is just faking news but
you got it you got a do some research you know what I’m saying
well what is the credibility of the source you know just do you believe
everything you read guys you gotta trust your gut you gotta trust your heart I
trust that more than empirical data no I’m kidding I think it’s important to
have a good blend of you know objective one qualitative researchers I don’t know
empirical data you gotta have a good blend
I saw the funniest status yesterday from you samus and DK he said people that
wear flip-flop he’s like I assume that people that wear flip-flops in New York
are insanely religious because they tend don’t believe in the science of Gerrans
I thought that was pretty funny yeah that was that was a very funny status to
me anyway yeah I don’t believe there was a football player that was accused of
like rape and stuff I think his name was Shawn Oakman was at Baylor football and
he ended up going to jail and for like a few years and his football career was
enter and then it came out that the girl making it up so I’ve talked about it in
the past we don’t live in a world where it’s innocent until you’re guilty until
proven innocent you have to have facts you can’t just believe just anyone can
say something I could get up here and say I found a Super Bowl ring you know
in the Hudson River yesterday was crazy I can you guys believe I found a Super
Bowl ring like I brought it back like only like there was only one little
scratch on the back but I could probably sell this thing for like 10 grand it was
a Patriots ring I don’t even know how Patriots ring it’s like people can say
anything you know what I mean so you got to be careful speaking of football
though the last worldly update that I wanted to talk about is how the NFL
Draft happened recently in Memphis Tennessee
or was it Nashville I was actually in Memphis during that time I couldn’t it
was for work you know work-related stuff was it business was a comedy I don’t
know but nevertheless I was down in that area I couldn’t make it to the draft but
a lot of Mizzou football players are you know I’ve been drafted your lot got
drafted by the Broncos very exciting stuff the whole NFL thing and football
has been a thing that I’m going to talk about at the end of this podcast today
but it’s a very relevant thing for my life right now and I think it’s very
interesting to let you guys know that there was actually a Missouri football
player that was waiting outside the North Carolina Panthers Stadium recently
saying we’ll tackle four hot dogs so he’s like looking to walk on he’s
trying to get the opportunity to try out for the Panthers which i think is
awesome and I don’t like that he stole my idea wait until the end of the
podcast to hear more all right what’s going on in the world of comedy or was
that all I want to talk about with what’s going on in the NFL
julik Odell Beckham left the Giants the Giants quarterback position is
okay so yeah you guys all know Dell left he’s with the Browns now great whatever
it’ll be interesting to see the wide receiver position the the Giants
obviously and you are going to need some help
and then what kind of freaking draft pick was that quarterback the Daniell
guy I looked him up on Twitter he had like 2,000 followers on Twitter that’s
how much of a no-name he is which I’m not putting that down I don’t have 2,000
followers on Twitter please follow me on Twitter at the Droid but it’s like
interesting let’s let’s see what this guy can do is he I think that everybody
is like why do they draft I think that the Giants know something that other
people don’t he must be a diamond in the rough you
know and have the characteristics to be successful in the Giants program he’s
probably he must have some similar I don’t know I don’t know if they’re
trying to build for the future with like another Eli Manning and he has like
those traits or what kind of strategy was behind that pic but it definitely
wasn’t a predictable pic so I’d like to be catching footballs from that guy soon
as what I’m trying to say last thing I’ll say about what’s going on in the
world I read this thing today I thought it was really interesting it’s an NBA
business programs are closing down frankly because they’re losing money
which I have my thoughts on higher education but yeah that’s crazy another
article related to that is Millennials aren’t saving because of fear that the
planet is doomed so a lot of Millennials aren’t saving as a result of that very
interesting that’s what I call giving up so quit being such freaking wusses you
know believe in the if you think the planet is doomed then do something about
it to not make it doomed right like help out brah you know yeah all right that’s
pretty much that’s my cell on that what’s going on in a world of comedy GMA
oh so I went to the Good Morning America on February 11th there were some
pictures I posted on Facebook and Twitter got to meet one of the main
ladies on that show the Game of Thrones chick was there that day the Circe was
there and I was like whoa she kind of it would’ve been cool to meet her but I
didn’t get she walked right back actually we did make eye contact I think
she was attracted to me I’m not just saying that but I think that Circe was
kind of attracted to me at the Good Morning America thing so that was an
interesting that was interesting what else yeah that was a cool it was a cool
experience I made a sign for my dad I didn’t get to to bring the sign in they
said no signs in Good Morning America so unfortunately I didn’t get to share with
the world that I love my dad on national TV but yeah my girlfriend made that sign
which I really appreciated some nice arts and crafts you know she’s
got skills is what I’m trying to say and yeah so yeah at least I I posted the
picture of me holding the sign on Facebook and tagged my dad in it so it’s
that’s the best I can do as far as getting that sign out there but you know
I did what I could right so uh yeah so by the way save save some money if
freakin Millennials you know alright let’s let’s move on a while back I went
to the Seth Meyers show I won this dance-off before the show so that was
pretty fun I did it my robot for all the people and I I won this dance
competition at the Seth Meyers thing and yeah it was it was fun you know yeah that’s all I have to say about that
my girlfriend came with me was a good energy was after some I was after the
State of the Union that we a while back so I watched the State of
the Union when we when Trump presented that just so I could like get the jokes
that Seth Meyers and his team was gonna tell after the State of the Union they
did all they basically like had the show later that night and wrote all the jokes
in the moment that night because of the State of the Union so that was pretty
impressive I got to ask Seth Meyers a question I heard they had a Q&A session
in there and I raised my hand and I said what do you love most about doing comedy
and people started giggling at me they won’t even like laughing with me they
were like what kind of dumb question is that I think they were judging me but I
think it’s an awesome question and he even looked thrown off by the question
which was weird but he said he’s like I don’t know he’s like I guess I just it
just came natural like I couldn’t do other things in life so not the answer
that I I would have liked to hear to be honest you know I personally do you come
because I like making people laugh like I can do plenty of things I’m pretty
athletic and talented you know so hmm I’m thinking a quick sip of my vote Vita
Coco water vitae Coco water you should pay me for just throwing out your name
and endorsing you you know that’s what I do I’m a pretty nice guy all right what
else Adam Sandler hosted Saturday Night Live a couple weeks ago I went out super
early in the morning the day after my girlfriend’s birthday to try and get
tickets and I did I tried to wait in the standby line and all that crap I did not
get in those freaking putts as you know I was really upset I would love that
I would have loved to see Sandler there was a charity thing where you could
donate some money and potential if you won some charity you could meet Pete
Davidson in Taylor I thought about donating that and I ran out of time I
forgot about it so I don’t have been exciting piece of news for you guys on
that but I did watch the show at home and I thought it was pretty cool
Samuel gave the Chris Farley tribute just a-holes a wholesome dude Sandler is
no I think that’s one of the reasons we love the guy so much he’s just got a
good heart you know and he doesn’t forget to to do good things like that
you know honors bro Christopher so yeah I thought that was really cool and yeah
hopefully I can get back to an Adam Sandler if you’re out there let’s do a
movie together you down I’d love to I’m not being sarcastic Jim
Carrey you two I’d love to I’d love to rotate the crops and get in
the flick with you I don’t know if you yeah man I appreciate your heart Jim you
know appreciate your art it’s fun you know I see you I see you expressing
yourself through that medium man you know kind up with a buddy recently who
worked for NBC that was pretty fun he’s on the news
we had fun shout out to my boy wale alai you from Mizzou he was on my 30th
birthday birthday podcast the sausage festival podcast we caught up recently
we talked about it was great to catch up with him Sallah dude right there news
guy hey guys he’s like Jim Carrey from the from the movie Bruce Almighty right
go check out that flick speaking of both those guys you know anyway Paul Rudd
hosted Saturday Night Live this to end the season of SNL he did a like a best
man wedding type speech as his monologue fun stuff Paul I feel like you you seem
like the type of dude that’s given a couple best man wedding speeches is that
true hit me up DM me bro at the Droid t-h-e the arrow I’d be
alright let’s take a quick sip of this coconut water I don’t know if you guys
can hear but my girlfriend’s talking in the background let me just sort of tame
her real quick hey Jessica I can hear you I’m recording a podcast Amira can
you keep it down okay can you just keep it down all over
the place okay thank you yeah thank you that’s how you crack the whip you know
what I’m saying so you crack the whip right there son all right so what’s going on in my world
of comedy because that’s pretty much it louis c.k I haven’t heard much about him
recently as far as the world of comedy goes Theo von I saw him in New York
recently I performed for pretty much a sold-out crowd at Caroline’s got to got
to see him for a second and reconnect who else what else is going on Aziz
Ansari haven’t really heard much about him yeah his ease I saw him at comedy so
I think I told you guys this last time I was at the Comedy Cellar with my
girlfriend we were having ice cream there and I saw his ease and I just kind
of give him a head nod it didn’t look like he wanted a interact I think he’s
uh he didn’t look him he didn’t look the healthiest I don’t
know man I think everything’s taking a toll on him I kind of feel for the guy
you know I don’t know man some crazy stuff not I’m not putting him down he’s
always been nice to me positive positive words truth be told he’s always been
nice that was the only time I’ve ever seen it I know he doesn’t recognize me
I’ve seen him like five or six times over the last ten years at random places
in New York and every time he’s been nice in this last time he looked just
like disgusted at life you know so I hope he’s doing okay
I hope he’s getting his nourishment keep eating
Aziz and make sure you’re flossing and taking regular dumps you know they’re
all gonna help out make it take some Metamucil if you get constipated and
just try to try to stay try to make sure you’re getting enough calories each day
you didn’t look that healthy I love you and I think you’re gonna bounce back
dude I think you’re gonna bounce back yeah um you took the bullet for a lot of
guys and for a lot of girls too I think everyone’s been thinking about that
stuff you know as a result of some of the things that went down a lot of a lot
of food for thought a lot of conversations transpiring over the over
the last couple years all right I’m gonna take another
simplest water and move on anything else going on the world of comedy Mike I’m
not sure yeah I’d say comedy specials on Netflix
I haven’t really watched much of those lately Saturn that live Jerrod
Carmichael has a new thing out he was a dude that I I consider myself one of his
friends actually not a close friend but Jerrod as you guys know I back when he
was just an open mic err travel on traveling around trying to do able
Mike’s The Improv Comedy Store in LA he was always a nice dude I was always
excited to see me had a warmth time and there was a lot of the scene was very
cliquey you could tell like that up-and-coming seen a lot of the dudes
were like super judgmental but he was like the friendliest nicest one and I
love that he’s doing when it became successful that’s how cool that’s what’s
up you know what I mean so shout out there Jerrod Carmichael man I hope I
haven’t seen that new Netflix thing but hopefully are getting some good views
and making some money bro you know I so yeah let’s talk about my world of
comedy guys we’re at a good place too if you need a stretch or take a quick break
or turn off the podcast you know I’ll leave that in your hands whatever you
need or want to do just know that I want to have intercourse when when the time
is right all right let’s talk about what’s going on in my world of comedy
droid entertainment is up and running it is recognized by the state of New York
I’m very excited oh by the way nimesh patel were speaking of what’s going on
in the world of comedy he was kicked off stage for doing a college show and then
now he’s double Donnie I’ve seen him perform a couple of time who’s hit knees
Double Down he like uses that bit in his performance he even hosted the NACA he
was hosting one of the NACA showcases that I I was at NACA the National
Convention this year and he talked about it in his show
in front of like thousands of college students so that was interesting to see
such a double down type thing yeah so what’s going on yeah
droid entertainment is buzzin baby I’m going back to Mizzou start off with
stand-up when it comes to my world of entertainment talk about stand up then
the aprox lash gets then acting right so when it comes to stand up I’ve been
booked by the University of Missouri I’m gonna go back at the end of the summer
here to perform for the business incoming freshmen the business for the
business school and I’m very excited I’m gonna do an hour a Q&A session about my
time there and you know talk about obviously the the football program the
business school you know going and joining a start-up and working for a
friend that you know the startup became super successful didn’t they make a joke
about him earlier the oh yeah reminding my friend that he is mortal and then
talking about you know what’s like pursuing comedy and blah blah blah so
yeah that’ll be that’s really exciting I’m honored to go back and do that and
while I’m in Missouri I’m gonna try to do a couple shows a problem maybe rent a
small place and in st. Louis you know do a show for my st. Louis friends do a
show in KC while I’m there to the Mizzou and then one down in Cape Girardeau my
buddy Paul stemmermann and Jamie Lee long time track track and field
teammates from you guys cooler livin down there it’d be fun to rotate the
crap the crops from my blood paulien company you know so if you’re down in
any of those areas if you’re in Missouri at all start marking those dates for the
end of August I’ll be back and lighting up the stage in the mo you know the
show-me States and did the show at the Gotham comedy club recently comedians on
the loose it was a lot of fun the Booker’s there the producers of the show
were awesome you know they you know as a packed house
sold out not a single open seat and you know they were able to record the set
professionally I got to hang out afterward afterwards and swap stories
comedians on the loose solid show guys you got to go check it out if you’re a
fan of comedy check it out if you’re a comedian and you can get booked on that
show it’s a great opportunity in my opinion you know it’s a great show it
was it was a you know it was a pleasure to be able to do it and definitely
definitely worth checking out so yeah they featured me on their website and
they do this thing where they they use like a one-minute joke like once a week
or once a month and feature one of their acts and they featured one of my jokes
just this last week and put it out there so that was pretty cool that they did
that you know it gave me some nice promo they even publicly said you should book
Michael Oldroyd so huh I immediately got hit up and that’s why I’m gonna do that
Muslim show that I told you about which is pretty cool and yeah so what else
what else you’re freaking putz been doing a lot of shows around the
city you know perform a Dangerfield’s some time obviously lol in Times Square
is you guys know random spots around the city hostels etc when I go to New Towns
I usually get on stage there you know it’s pretty you know I’m fourteen years
in now so I’ve got a decent resume and it’s it’s getting easier and easier to
get stage time I places more and more doors open in fact you know from time to
time people just come to me hitting me I’ve won enough I can perform and if I’m
free you know cool if not whatever but you know monetizing you know monetizing
this thing and it’s just an exciting time the momentum is continuing you know
and I’m continuing to put fuel in the tank and continue to you know get gas
mileage on that journey baby you know so I think I’m getting better
feel like I’m getting better at stand-up comedy you know transition to being able
to be more and more comfortable on stage and tell more and more stories that are
real and really connect with audiences so it’s a lot of fun and yeah if you’re
if you’re at a college you know and you want to have me come out hit a brother
up if you’re not at a college and you want to have me come out and do some
comedy hit a brother up I uh I’m breaking into the corporate market right
now so if you have if you’re if you’re you have a full-time job and your
company ever has corporate events hit a brother up I’m gonna come out and create
some humor right I can do 60 minutes of clean material you freaking mofo if you
need me to do comedy on on the plane you know like if if you’re flying somewhere
and you want me to get up and do five minutes of humor I’ll do an hour of
material on the Southwest flight of the front of the thing where the Stewart I
are if you want me to create some humor there I’ll I’ll do some nice little
crowd work and make fun of the people in the front and we’ll we’ll have some
intercourse afterwards it’ll be great you know get up in the mile-high club so
definitely keep me keep me on your radar you know keep me abreast keep me abreast
you freaking putz all right that’s what I call my girlfriend’s it’s a term of
endearment now when I call you a putz it means I love you
so your frickin pots thank you for listening
all right let’s this shows not over I know I’m talking forever but let me just
take a sip of this freaking fire – Coco mmm my dog my mom’s dog’s name is coke
my my mom’s dog her name is Coco so yeah anyway oh man so yeah I did a knack of
thing in Columbus Ohio got to hang out with some waffle you know Chris James
and he was showcasing got to hang out with him and some others like Matthew
Broussard was there you know very humble dude very smart you know a lot of
success in comedy I’m sure you guys all know Matt Broussard I was lucky to have
him do my show I don’t produce any shows right now as far as stand-up goes but he
did my show like a year ago and it was kind of cool to see how this
whole thing come full circle as they wanna catch up
with him super nice you know and just listening to guys like Chris James
Matthew Broussard and some of the others or having successful careers in NACA and
outside of NACA it’s just very helpful and I’m very thankful to be a fly on the
wall sometimes and listen to the veterans who who you know they’ve
they’ve been deeper in the trenches than I have that in some ways and you know
you know they’ve had you know Matthews had a lot of success you know he’s been
on Comedy Central Conan Jimmy Fallon you know he’s been all over so very cool
he performs at the Comedy Cellar you know just really cool stuff you know and
I get getting to hang out with a lot of people like that down at NACA we had a
like a boy’s trip down there we all there was like four four of us me Chris
and a couple other dudes and and we you know it was like I felt like it was a
track-and-field mate or something like back in high school or when I was in the
zoo it’s like a smaller team right it’s a team but it’s like a smaller team and
then your performers you’re still like an individual performance so you know
comedy reminds me of tracking filled in a lot of ways it’s it’s an interesting
thing I’m able to draw from my sports experiences all the things that I’ve
learned over the years and apply it toward this comedy business and
entertainment and you know it’s it’s very fun so yeah yeah that was around
Valentine’s Day my buddy Danny Danny and his wife Danielle ageru guys remember
Danny well here the guy we had the episode where we were talking about
homeward bound and dogs and he’s got the dog man Cory he came out to New York
he’s been having a lot of success doing his thing so I got to see him for a
little bit right around the Valentine’s Day period after I celebrated with my
chick also celebrated my birthday with my chick Oh what else did I have to
catch up with the the personal stuff afterwards so yeah bear with me I don’t
think anyone’s going to listen this long what it’s nice to just get this all out
there it’s it’s like a nice this is a pensive to my mind or whatever they call
me Owen Dumbledore takes those like thoughts and memories
out of his hand he puts them in that bowl well this is this is this is a that
for you guys this is my pensive right this is not even a fog desgas it’s too
much information but you guys are taking a deep dive under the current
cross-section of the dining mind right so with that said yeah I learned a lot
going back to NACA I’m getting some fans starting to pop up here and there on the
radar I feel like my comedy career is like when you try to boil water you know
you’re like you you turn on the thing and then you start to see these little
bubbles accumulate here and there that’s kind of what it feels like with my fans
I feel little bubbles matriculating or popping up on the radar and it’s kind of
an exciting little deal and it’s it’s it’s increasing in its pace it’s it’s
you know it’s growing the bubbles are happening more frequently you know and
yeah I say where I’m performing and people puck just show up you know people
show up from from places and it’s pretty exciting it it always arouses me and
makes me extremely horny no but yeah last time I performed tonight’s Monday
so I actually I took a couple days off Saturday night I performed a lol it was
such a fun show it was the early show so it was like a clean show there’s kids
there and I had so much fun on stage and people just wanted to meet me afterwards
is so cool like by the way this is where the narcissist part of the show starts
I pretty much talked about what’s going on in the world now it’s we’re gonna
talk about me again this is the pensive to my mind now I’m just like
free-flowing so forgive me my girlfriend can’t even
listen to this she’d be sick of it right now so if you guys are you were troopers
you’re doing better than her but yeah so I got to meet people up for the show and
just it meant a lot you know like to when you do a show and people leave and
they’ve got like that light your eyes afterwards there’s like this
light there right and it’s like they’re excited to meet you and they’re curious
you know like nervous to say hey hey can I get a picture with you or oh if I’m
like it was cool to meet you and they want to know if we’re they can see me or
find me online you know like those types of things are very gratifying and you
know when people leave happy that’s why I do what I do get freaking putts I do
it because I want to make you happy I want to make and when I say you I’m
talking about you motherfucker like everyone who’s listening as an
individual as a collective like I want people to leave happy it makes that’s
why I do what I do when I get off stage and people are genuinely excited and
they had a good time like then I did my work then then you know God’s purpose
for me was fulfilled on that day you know so it’s so it’s very gratifying to
have that and to see that one lady I’m not trying to brag here she asked me if
I’m single I said no I’m in a relationship
she said regardless she wants me to be her stepson she said can I show you a
picture of my daughter you know she shows me a picture of her daughter’s
just like don’t be surprised she shows up at one of your shows you’re on your
doorstep you know I’m so held by only Zeus that’s
very exciting and slightly arousing so thank you but you know that’s that’s
funny so that’s how that show went and it was was definitely like I said it was
a doozy right so I’ve got an audition coming up with NBC coming up in a couple
months been looking into you know speaking wanna dude who works at Comedy
Central and Scott’s stand-up comedy talent I don’t have any updates on that
front so I’m not sure where that stands but I do have an audition locked in for
NBC and with NBC America’s Got Talent I there was a somebody who works with
America’s Got talent that actually found me and
reached out to me asking me some questions
not long ago I though I have my business droid entertainment I also have a
college agent now that we’re gonna work together on some of these college
bookings which I’m very excited about free naca and then I don’t have really
any updates on my acting agent that’ll happening
I haven’t I uh all I have is update wise is that I have updated reel and a bunch
of you know like my resume and all that stuff is is cool I’ve got new footage
from the Midwest sketch bandits that I’m able to use for my reel for castings
through backstage and through you know the the acting agent that I have but I
don’t have any like acting gigs on the radar per se other than the stuff that
we’re creating ourselves at the moment but I will talk a little bit more about
some cool stuff that happen in the acting world recently that here in a
second so what else we had so improv and sketch I’m a part of a theme called two
nights we originated from the UCB advance study class that we also it was
organic Harold’s with a dude named John John Timothy Williams I’ve had a few
times really like him and we started having improv practices because we
wanted to prepare for an upcoming audition at the UCB for the Academy and
you know we started practicing and then all of a sudden we got some
opportunities to have some performances so we actually have had a couple shows
now at the pit loft I don’t know if you guys have been to the pit before but we
actually hosted a few shows so when I say I don’t mean that we were featured
on shows but one of the members of our group actually took it upon herself to
have the entire show be on us that we host it was a variety show so we did
some stand-up we had a couple stand of acts that I’ve helped out with that you
know we’ve had improv showcase that we been able to do and then actual like
sketches so it’s like a variety show sketches improv and stand-up what we
actually rehearse for the sketches we utilize the things we’ve learned for our
improv been able to showcase some of our comedians if you stand up so we have
more shows coming up we have one next Sunday night at the pit the the big pit
whatever that is or anyone know what it’s called off the top of my head you
know we’ve got a couple shows coming up with the two nice variety show so you
know that’s that’s it’s very exciting you know it’s fun you know I’ll be doing
stand-up at the one on Sunday night I’m don’t like it twenty to thirty minutes
set to close the show first stand-up so very excited about that and that’s
really the main update is that uh you know I have a boner all right moving on
acting what’s going on in the world of acting well I was I told you about the
agent you know updated real I have I had a scam agent hit me up recently asked so
watch out for scam agencies if you guys are trying to get an agent you know just
because someone hits you up doesn’t make them legit or credible you got to trust
your gut do some research you know do a little empirical data research but I was
on a couple shows recently at least my face was and you could hear my voice a
little bit but uh you know I was on the blacklist hold on one second Jessica okay my girlfriend’s doing stuff in the
background anyway so I was on that I was on the blacklist
I did what was it called background work day night I snuck onto the set so they
told everyone where to stand and then I just snuck behind one of the guys that
the camera was on just like I did what I was playing football Mizzou sneaking
behind coach Pinkel so I could get a little TV time so you know it worked
my face was like on the blacklist and my parents were really excited my mom found
it I don’t have the time to watch that stuff I don’t I don’t watch the
blacklist but my mom found me and it was fun and then a couple weeks later same
thing for summer house my niece is actually found it they watched that show
so that was really nice of them and they you know they said that it was like
really exciting they actually he saw me on preview for the upcoming episode and
it looked like my part or my it looked like I would have a bigger part in the
show than I did but it was cool they still use my foot my face and the
preview to create some potential drama to to make to be a teaser for the show
but yeah I mean you can see my face you know can barely hear me but I guess you
could say those are like lines I don’t know either way with my girlfriend I got
to give her credit for helping me get on that show it was her connection to the
Hamptons that allowed us to do that and you know it’s funny because on the show
I’m getting a girl’s phone number and my girlfriend is the one who was like
encouraging it and then she got mad at me afterwards once it actually went on
TV you know so it was like I did this because he told me to and you gave me
the opportunity you open the door for it and now you’re mad at me for taking
advantage of an opportunity that you presented anyway it’s funny she’s a
she’s a funny creature I don’t know what she’s doing right now she’s probably
secretly listening through the door but uh super fun stuff it’s cool to get on
those shows and get a little bit of buzz you know it’s good to get some buzz
right hey Midwest sketch Bend it’s that’s that’s something definitely worth
talking about the Midwest sketch bandage you guys got to follow us online man
we’ve been making a ton of videos we’ve got some more coming out it’s dumb
Midwest sketch band it’s four words there’s four of us right and we’re all
from the Midwest and yeah I mean well on YouTube we
definitely could use the YouTube subscribe so if you could follow us
there and then we’ve got a Facebook group Instagram page
I think the Instagram is actually at Midwest catch bandits if I’m not
mistaken and then Twitter is MW sketch bandits I know that’s confusing forgive
me to have all the different stuff but there’s a reason why I couldn’t do it
the other way around um nevertheless though uh we are gonna
create some other cool stuff like we might be making a short film soon the
Dom wrote um like this 15 minute short film that we may be making and yeah we
got a couple more sketches that we’ve read that are in the pipeline we’re
gonna try to get on patreon to to help get some subscribers and some money to
help fund some production costs you know cost money to do all this stuff
time is money too especially in New York right so your guys’s support non
financially is extremely helpful and crucial for our success and then
financially anything helps no pressure I won’t know if you’re if you’re not
sending us money I will only know if you’re sending us money so keep an eye
out for some of that stuff but our film guide Ben he’s great you know he uses a
black magic camera went to film school in Wisconsin super helpful super awesome
to work with him I recommend him if you guys are looking to do individual
projects he actually helped me with some of my individual stuff you know like he
film some of my stand-up recently I’m with this documentary thing like this
promo video for for marketing myself to colleges and to corporate America for
you know doing comedy in the corporate market so the dudes versatile he also
did my headshots so Ben Meade is his name Emme ad take a look super helpful
and tell my readers that I referred you and maybe I’ll get a referral bonus I
don’t know if he’s like I don’t know what that means Mike but uh
anyway Dom Dom Leonelli he’s one of the starring actors and he’s super funny
always fun to work with hiring me to stand up he’s a hilarious stand-up
comedian he can host shows he just did Caroline’s the funniest show on Broadway
the other night I ran into him there we hung out afterwards had some dinner
yeah the dude he killed at Caroline’s and yeah DOM is awesome he got kicked
out of NBC when he first moved to New York for trying every day to like get on
Saturday Night Live and I think that that’s that’s warrior status right there
you know it’s hilarious to me they wouldn’t let him in like the NBC
Rockefeller Center for like five years they banned him from it and you know
it’s just it’s fun to hear those stories I can’t wait till he makes it big and he
can tell that story you know as a guest on like Jimmy Fallon or something but
yeah keep an eye out for him we’re very excited we just we just invested in some
new things like we got lights we’ve got a sound guy Connor from the Midwest he’s
the fourth member of the band if you will the bandits
we’ve got you know the Blackmagic camera we’ve got a PA now that’s volunteering
to help us out and just like you know do whatever is needed to do to make this
shoot successful we’ve got people that want to write for us and with us
somebody recently reached out to me wanted to help me with my writing for my
standup he’s like you have it he’s like you have any staff members that like
write jokes with and for you I was like no but I’ll take the assistants you know
so that’s pretty exciting what else yeah so keep an eye out for that we have
we’ve got some new stuff coming out definitely keep him out from the Midwest
catch bandits moving on Friday night on a Friday a while back I was supposed to
do background work for Orange is the new black and then they didn’t need me so
they sent me home but I got paid so that was kind of cool I was cool to check out
the studio it reminded me of Burbank California where I grew up
and then QED is so close by so I did QED for the first time I was an open mic but
when I was up there I was able to check it out and then now that Muslims show
that I told you so I got booked on is gonna be a QED in June so that’s pretty
cool uh what else have I done in the last month it was interesting oh there
was a playboy party that I went to in New York one of my buddies like
represents models I think it was for Fashion Week they had this some Playboy
Bar in New York and I was trying to scout talent for like female actress
actresses for the Midwest sketch bandits it turned out to be a bust no pun
intended but now I didn’t we didn’t really meet anyone at that that we’re
gonna work with but it was still hilarious I had to babysit my friend and
I invited it just turned into him drinking way too much alcohol trying to
recruit girls to be part of a mid was scheduled and it’s but he was equally
just trying to recruit them for himself so that was hilarious to watch him and
then have to handhold him as he got kicked out he’s been on the podcast in
the past and Brian Kelly shadow he’s my Sam we’re basically each other
Sam’s from the Lord of the Rings I call him Sam he calls me Sam so he’s a
Eureka guy I met some girls that worked for a Ralph Lauren at that party they
were pretty cool that was like a potentially unexpected thing but
unfortunately it’s not gonna lead to anything I was telling I was like do you
guys need somebody to represent Ralph Lauren or like a new face and you’re
like do you think you fit our brand I was like absolutely and I like pitched
why I wear t-shirts that are Ralph Lauren I was like yeah it’s like you
know it’s like that casual look I like to wear the t-shirt because it’s not
fancy but it still shows that I know what’s up and I’ve got that like that
era of like I’m not trying to her if it’s like I’m still repping the Ralph
Lauren they liked it they were impressed and then I never heard from them again
so go figure but yeah other than that that’s pretty much the main stuff that’s
going on in my world of comedy and entertainment and now just for
shits and grins let’s talk about the final thing in my podcast which is just
the selfish part of the show where I just talk about me so anybody if you
want to turn off the freaking microphone I’m just gonna talk about anything else
that’s going on again it’s as if I’m catching up with a buddy and I’m just
kind of sharing what’s going on at my end usually conversations your two-way
where you’re like so like how’s this going bro how’s your daughter Oh how’s
work going yeah anything new yeah where the chicks going oh you’re married sorry
about that all right but it’s that type of thing we’re like you go back and
forth so the only things left to talk about are things in my world that are
that I haven’t talked about yet that have kind of happened over the last
couple months that I think are interesting the first thing that I think
is super super exciting for me is let’s talk about football my last episode I
created was like a three-hour episode about football he was right after the
Super Bowl you guys are gonna be blown away to hear this if you don’t if you
aren’t very close to me you don’t know that this is happening but I’ve been
getting back in shape I don’t know if you can tell by looking at me if
anyone’s watching this live thing but I’ve actually been getting back in shape
for the last few months since the Super Bowl legitimately over the last 10 or 12
years since I played football I would do something called atrophy atrophy
prevention which is basically bullshit working out just so you don’t die you
know from being unhealthy but as far as building muscle I wasn’t into that at
all no motivation right but here’s the thing I had this epiphany a few months
back and this is literally where this all started I thought to myself
technically I can still play football like my knee is healed it was a knee
injury that stopped me from playing but it was the timing of the injured injury
that ruined my career rather than the severity and in my own head I moved on
with my life because I thought to myself alright well I missed my the boat right
I can’t get drafted now and the Missouri Tigers you know let everybody go who is
at the bottom of the depth chart at that time so I just thought the doors closed
why stay in shape why do anything so I completely moved on
with my life like a girlfriend when you break up with a girlfriend you have your
brother and you’re like fuck that I’m like I’m not even look back and think
about so I basically did that with football and for years I couldn’t even
watch football and in my own head I just thought like football’s ogre like I have
to move on I did calm I focus on 2% of my comedy and then business and I
realized like I said a couple months back I was like technically physically I
have the ability if I got back in shape I’m 32 there are some guys that play
till they’re 40 you know Eli Manning Tom Brady those
dudes are all older than me it’s like the only thing stopping me from playing
football is me and then some coach that decides that you know so all these
things that I’ve been talking about I’m pursuing comedy and I’m you know doing
everything just as hard as I always have but there is a piece of motivation
secretly deep down in my art where I’m actually getting back in shape because I
might play again so I I’ve been getting strong I went back to the Missouri
alumni thing for the for the football team the spring football game and that
was it that was an interesting thing to go back to very meaningful because
that’s the last time I ever played football was when I was was in the
spring game of 2008 actually so too that 2019 I was 11 years ago exactly 11 years
ago and I got down on the field again and I got to reconnect with coach Odom I
got to reconnect with some of my old teammates like chase Kauffman chased Pat
and rock Christopher Tommy Saunders Greg Bracy you know I’ve been keeping in
touch with Jimmy Jackson lately Tony temple all these dudes you know
every time I talked with the whole person it makes me stronger one of my
old teammates it makes me stronger and it gives me motivation and we start to
reconnect it’s like there’s a magnetism like where when you come together you
become stronger I don’t know how to explain it but it’s it’s all contributed
to my motivation to get back into shape and I am feeling very athletic so yeah
you know I got down and threw the fly in my building I met a dude who played
football for UCLA here in New York and we connected he played wide receiver
there he’s a quarterback so we actually two weeks ago for the first time in a
long time we got down on the field we started put on my cleats we threw the
football around we were on the routes and it felt beautiful and I was feeling
fast because I’ve been lifting so it felt amazing to get out there and toss
the rock around and then I got a Friday night again like I told you guys I’m
gonna I’m gonna join us flag football league and I mean the speed the speed is
there I want to continue to get faster stronger but my goal my plan I talked to
a previous trainer for the New York Giants actually he’s a giant speaking of
them I talked to one of the trainers who worked with the Giants for several years
and about the process and I’m not gonna tell you guys the process but I have a
plan in place as to how I’m going to go about you know reaching out to the team
and looking for a trial and trying to get on the practice squad invincible was
35 years old and he was a bartender I don’t think he was left in the way that
I am left in he was older than me when we started playing for the Eagles so
crazier things have happened and I am motivated I actually powerclean today
and I’ve been doing explosive lifting I’ve been working my web to doing
plyometrics again and so so that’s where it’s at you know they also have a local
they have a new football league that’s opening up and there’s there’s gonna be
a team a new jersey football team I don’t want to have to try and start
there but it is an option it is good to know that that’s there but
I’m gonna go straight for the jugular like I always do in life and if I get an
opportunity to try out and they give me it goes well I need to make sure before
I do that so here’s the plan in place in case you guys are wondering I’m gonna
get my lips back up to a certain percentage of what I was able to do when
I was younger and once my lips are at that point I’m gonna test my and I’m
gonna be running every week just to make sure that the muscles are getting
stronger again for the fast twitch and like that way I’m not gonna pull a
muscle and all the stuff when I test myself but in the next couple months I’m
going to test and evaluate where my body is that compared to what I was able to
do when I was younger and compared to what is done at the NFL Combine main
thing is my 40 times so if my 40 time is at a certain number when I test then I’m
gonna reach out to the Giants and present myself as an option for them and I’d like to see my 40 time at at least 4
6 in order to consider playing again but you only live once and I realized that
you know football is football and making people laugh are some of my biggest
passions and loves they were the two things I wanted to do when I was a kid
when I grew up and I’m still alive I’m still healthy I’m not wheelchair ridden
and I’m not 80 years old and you know when I think about the idea
of playing football again and that there’s a possibility there it’s it’s I
can’t even express to you what that would mean to me and I would give all
the glory to a higher power because I’ve learned so much over the years and if I
was able to do that again it would be for a much bigger reason than myself
right so that’s the whole football thing I’m gonna keep everyone in the loop but
if I make the team I’ll be streaming I’ll be streaming stuff workouts and all
kinds of stuff I may start streaming someone when I work outs now but I feel
like it’s a little too random you know it doesn’t people will be confused
I’m pursuing comedy in the blog wise mic streaming his work out you know but I
may I may consider it consider John but it was great to reconnect with coach
Odom I was able to thank him for the opportunity to play football for Mizzou
and generally say that to his face in person because it was of him it was
because of him I got to play there and I’m rooting for him and the Tigers and I
hope that this whole scholarship band thing we’re able to get through that
we’ve got some new additions to the stadium that’s going on and it just
feels so good to be reconnected with so many of the guys so going back and and
doing that really is meaningful I talked to chase Patton about the idea of
throwing the football with him next time I see him you know when I got down on
that football field nobody else was left in the stands I
actually did it after the game and I started crying I’m not gonna lie I had a
moment I felt similar and overwhelmed with with emotions and feelings of so
many memories and so much of my efforts you know that were put into that and it
just felt so good to reconnect with that and to be spiritually charged by by that
experience so anyway yeah that’s that’s pretty much that
and I’ll keep you guys in the loop with the football stuff I don’t think there’s
much to talk about on the personal end with the relationship things are going
fine things are cool my girlfriend is entertained she makes me laugh she’s
hilarious she reminds me of an electron around a nuke I’m like a nucleus and
she’s just like you learn in physics that an electron can be anywhere and
everywhere so technically it’s everywhere my girlfriend is like an
electron that is anywhere at any time mood wise decision wise plan wise of
things that she wants you never know what to expect from her other than you
don’t you can expect it you don’t know you’ll expect so yeah other than the
football stuff yeah her and I we went to Mexico a couple months ago so that was
really cool one of her friends hooked us up with the the cool resort thing I was
able to do comedy while I was there so I was able to work out and you know get
some get some tan time with her and some of her friends and and
then was able to perform was a terrible experience performing down in Mexico the
only cool thing is that they they promoted me so intensely was so funny
they made an announcement to like the whole venue like a couple hours before
the performance and they were like tonight we got a special a special
opportunity for everybody here we got one of the best comedians from the
United States of America to do some comedy for us tonight so please gather
in the blah-blah-blah room at 10 o’clock we’re gonna be doing comedy there and
some karaoke so you know it said one of the best comedians are one of the most
famous comedians from the United States I was like not not quite there but uh
when I when I when I got on stage the sound system was not very clear and
there was a bunch of like Mexican dudes that just got off work and they were
heckling me in Spanish so they were like at the bar
interrupting me and they were like yelling things in Spanish at me so I’m
not exactly sure how to deal with hecklers in a different language but it
didn’t it didn’t make it very much fun it I think it made me better though it
makes you tougher so that was a good experience and at least we were able to
have a nice room to stay in and to counter to counterbalance that terrible
experience and you know get out on that blue water so that was cool other than
that whole Mexico thing I think that’s I think that’s about it guys I’ve talked a
lot so I think we could probably call it a day I feel exhausted from this and
anybody who’s listened to all of this or part of this they’re probably exhausted
too because it’s been such a long a long session but thank you guys so much for
tuning in I love all of you I love myself and I love you I love us you know
the main like and I and I recommend that you love me and yourself – you can just
we can spread the love like it’s a peanut butter you know I mean and maybe
even have intercourse and if physically metaphorically speaking I
think when I’m doing comedy it’s like me it’s a form of lovemaking so yeah and
when you guys are laughing you’re making love with me metaphorically right we’re
really giving it to each other at that moment but thank you guys so much have a
great week and I’ll try to be a little bit more regular with these podcasts all
right god bless and go do what you love baby piece

2 thoughts on “Live recording | Episode LXXV aka 75 | Michael Oldroyd Comedy Podcast

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