Do you know why the whole world hates a clipper? You’re just a whiny little baby Who’s far to slow on the flop Are you ashamed of me, Father? You are the former first-team All-ACC McDonald’s
All-American Naismith Prep Player of the Year And you are my son I bet you need whole new library just for all defensive plays Oh, no no no None of that here I say, half the defense double the offense Oh! What happened to Lord Commander? Are you OK? He was attacked…at the end of the 4th quarter by the Jester While the Rivers boy laughed I will break their ankles! Nay nay Nene’s in the other tent. Should I get him? I mean no Violence is not the answer But sometimes, it is It’s futile, Chris You know the gates of Stables Castle are impregnable There are other ways in! Now House Clippers share their castle with House Lakers which means doubly fortified walls They were reinforced to protect Kobe from Shaq after his exile And then re-reinforced to protect Kobe from Dwight And then re-re-reinforced to protect Kobe from trying to unretire It won’t be easy I’ll need our best five So that’s me, James, Clint, Trevor, Eric… or Ryan…wait no We need someone expendable…a journeyman You. What’s your name? Green, ser. Just signed a 10-day You’re in The Stables Castle has a secret back entrance a wheelchair ramp built for Ser Paul Pierce Synchronize your sundials If we time it right, we can slice through their lazy zone defense at the rear gates Ah, a backdoor cut Exactly But we’ll need a distraction That’s where you come in, Clint [Knocking] Who goes there? Oh, hello! I’m here from Big Balleros Brand Would you be interested in purchasing some boots? Uh… How much for the sandals? Uh…great choice They’re actually on sale for… 400 gold Wait, what? Above the back door is a small window that leads to Donald Sterling’s
secret roost where he would send his racist ravens It’s easy to spot because all his birds were white Hoist me up, and I’ll sneak in and unlock the door Uh…they’re autographed by Lonzo Ball The GOAT Wait…aren’t you on House Rockets? Um… Cuz if you are… Please take me with you! Why’s he taking so long? Do you–do you think he got caught? Welcome to the Stables Castle Once inside, we’ll have to walk on eggshells You see, Sterling’s Roost is now the chamber of Chuck the Condor the most horrifying mascot in the Realm All right now, you lead the way Me? Why me? Do you want a guaranteed contract? Well, yeah, but— Then do–then go! [Crack] [Terrible screaching] Oh gods, he just ate him He just ate that journeyman guy! Oh no! He’s coming back [Hotdog impact] Hunting for fowls. It’s what I do I don’t know. Are condors considered fowl—WHOA [Hotdog impact] And-1 We then descend past Phil Jackson’s Zen Garden and into the shrine to Kobe built by Kobe to honor himself Now what? I don’t know There’s supposed to be a secret passageway James, check his closet Nothing…just some skeletons Here! Look Hm… I bet it’s–ugh! Two! Four! [Mambas whipping] Ugh! Mambas! Black Mambas! Trevor! Uh okay, um, think! Think! Eight! It’s got to be eight Wait. Hold on! Hold on! It could be five! For each championship No! It’s…it’s 81 Kobe scored 81 on Ser Jalen, the Knight of Roses Of course! Yes! Yes! He values individual accomplishments above all others Eight! One! [Stones grinding] [Mechanism whirring] Trevor, are you okay? Ugh, I’m suspended Go on without me. Finish what we started Better him than us, I suppose This will take us to the locker room doors Now in the event that we encounter the Jester, we implement Operation Jenner Cheers, thanks for coming out, um… So my squire year, some of the older blokes
take me to a whorehouse…to a whorehouse… Ugh…can’t I just cross him up or something? James, we’ve been through this He will whine and howl and the guards will be all over us It’s true, no one can whine like Blake, he’s the best Second-best. Second-best. Sorry All right, on with the dress and off with the beard Oh, I don’t know. It’s not just a beard I am The Beard Do it for Lord Commander [Sighs] Goodbye, old friend [Cutting] Your beard, James And your pubes You look… …stunning I just…I don’t know if I can do this Don’t worry, James Instead of acting like you’re getting fouled, just act like Kendall Jenner Uh…hey, baby Kendall? What are you doing here? I came here to…dunk I–I mean talk! But–but I’m at work Well, you haven’t been rebound—you haven’t been responding to my ravens I don’t think you sent me any ravens I was Eurostepping—I mean I was Europe modeling! I mean I was in Europe–I was modeling in Europe, you see I’m an influencer model Kendall, are you okay? Sorry, lately I’ve been feeling a little beard I mean I’m feeling a little weird! I’m James Harden I mean, I’m Kendall Kardashian–Jenner? Ah, ref, where’s the call?! And that’s when I make…the move What are you doing here? Doing something I should have done a long time ago [Slap] Gotcha, bitch! Daddy!