Well, if you like licensed baseball games,
you have two choices. It’s either MLB: The Show or MLB 2K-whatevs. Some choice, right?
And if you don’t have a PlayStation 3, you don’t even have a choice. It’s 2K for you. In 2013? Boy, that was a…freaking, balk. Take your base, you poor bastard. It’s MLB
2K13. So, uh…before we even get into the gameplay
and the controls and all the specific things that make this game so incredibly underwhelming,
let me just tell you that…there were some things that let me know pretty early on what
a mess of a freaking game this was gonna be. I mean, Andrew McCutchen is a freak of nature,
but I’ve never seen him move his neck like that. And also, what is Charlie Morton even doing?
He’s either fighting an imaginary bull or getting ready to poop on the mound. And Charlie
Morton does neither of those things. He just throws sinkers. Oh, and speaking of things that break…that
scoreboard has to be broken, right? Either that or someone at AT&T Park is, like, really
confused. Either that or this game sucks. The Indians? It’s not even the same league,
man. So that’s the story. MLB 2K13 just…strikes
out. On, like, three pitches. And two of them were belt-high fastballs over the heart of
the plate. To be fair, the other was a pretty nice sinker, but that’s only because Charlie
Morton’s in this game. MLB 2K13 doesn’t do a single thing better than The Show. Except
maybe its roster updates. They happen automatically as soon as you start
the game, which is awesome. That’s about it for the awesome, though. So how do the two games differ? Well, for
starters…that Big League polish that The Show is known for? You won’t find it here.
I mean, this isn’t even the minors in terms of presentation. This is beer league softball,
compared to The Show. The cameras aren’t as good, the graphics aren’t as good… And most of all, neither is the gameplay. Some people really like the pitching in MLB
2K13, but…I don’t know. It’s more like a minigame than anything else. You pick a pitch,
then you basically have to draw a line with the right analog stick, and do it in rhythm.
The better your motion, the better the pitch. How that has anything to do with pitching
is beyond me. To me, it’s another example of sports games confusing needless complexity
with realism. On the plus side, the effectiveness of your
pitches is dynamic. So if your fastball is getting hit, it becomes harder to locate.
That’s a really cool idea. I just would rather throw a baseball than, you know, play Etch-a-Sketch. Hitting is alright, though. It uses a flick
of the stick for swinging, which…that’s a subjective thing, I guess. But at least
it works…and kinda makes sense. On the other hand, fielding feels kind of slow. And 2K13’s
presentational problems creep into the gameplay in just about every facet of the game. I mean,
it’s just a nonstop disappointment show. It has a few cool modes, but…not as many
as The Show. It plays alright, but…not as well as The Show. I mean, one of the great
things about sports is that…they teach us how to lose, right? How to deal with failure.
But the key is accepting those failures. Sometimes, you just have to say, “You know what? We lost.” MLB 2K13 loses. By, like, twelve runs. Unless it’s your only option, leave this one
on the bench.