Camp Camp: Season 2, Episode 4 – Jermy Fartz | Rooster Teeth

Camp Camp: Season 2, Episode 4 – Jermy Fartz | Rooster Teeth


Nikki: Now’s our chance, Neil! Go long! QM: Camp Campbell wins. Yeah! Pikeman: Curses! Foiled again! Our plan to use Africanized honeybees was supposed to be foolproof! Space Kid: Haha, my suit tickles! Max: In your zit-covered face, Pikeman! Pikeman: You incredulous pest! I will not rest until you all answer to the Wood Scouts! NIkki: Never gonna happen, losers! David: Guys, guys! Can’t we all just be nice to one another? Pikeman: Campbell campers being nice? Impossible! The only things you classless simpletons understand are mean-spirited sarcasm and snide remarks! Max: I’ll give you a snide remark… David: Now hold on just a minute. We can be nice! Pikeman: Please! Your lot couldn’t be nice even if they tried. David: Oh, really? You wanna bet? Pikeman: As a matter of fact, I do. Gwen: David, don’t. Pikeman: I’ll bet you that Camp Campbell can’t go 24 hours without being mean. If you lose, then you’ll surrender your camp and campers to the Wood Scouts. Max: Goddamn! Why is everything always for the fate of the camp? We just played FRISBEE for the fate of the camp! Pikeman: Fine, fine. If you lose, we’ll simply take your best camper. David: And if we win? Pikeman: We won’t take your best camper. David: Deal! Everyone: *groans* Max: David, you idi- Pikeman: Ah ah! Play nice, remember? Max: *groan* Pikeman: Petrol! We’re falling back to base. Remain here to observe the campers and blow this whistle if you witness any… poor behavior. Come, Snake! We’ve got an extra bunk to prepare for our new recruit! *evil laughter* Gwen: Well, great, David! Thanks to you and this stuuuu- -PENDOUS wager! We definitely WON’T look like idiots when we DON’T fuck this whole thing up! David: Oh, come on, gang! We just have to be nice to everyone for one day! *bus horn* David: *screams* QM : New kid’s here. David: New… kid ? Jermy Fartz: Hey, everybody. My name is Jermy Fartz. Max: Oh. OHHHHH There’s a place I know that’s tucked away A place where you and I can stay Where we can go to laugh and play And have adventures everyday I know it sounds hard to believe, but guys and gals it’s true Camp Campbell is the place for me and you We’ll swim through lakes and climb up trees Catch fish , bugs, bears and honeybees There’s endless possibilities And no, that’s NOT hyperbole Our motto’s Campe Diem and that means I’m telling youuuuuu We’ve got archery, hiking, search and rescue, biking Horseback, training that’ll save you from a heart attack, scuba diving, miming Football, limbo, science, stunting Pre-cal, spaceships, treasure hunting, Bomb defusal, no refusal Fantasies, circus trapeze And fights and ghosts and paints and snakes and knives and chess and dance and weights It’s Camp Camp! Max: So let me get this straight. Your name is Jeremy Fartz? Jermy: I wish… It’s actually Jermy Fartz. It’s a family name, but both of my friends call me Big Nips. Neil: Why do they call you Big Nips? Jermy: Oh, well, you see… *screams of terror* Yeah, apparently it’s a rare condition and the ointment I have to use to stave off the chafing smells like old beef jerky on a hot day but Max: Okay, seriously. What is this kid’s deal? He has to be a plan, right? There’s no way we can do this! Ah, I don’t want to be taken by the Wood Scouts. Neil: You? Why would they take you, Max? If anything, you’re the most liable to ruin this whole thing for everyone. I’m obviously the best camper here. Nikki: Come on, Neil. I’m the most rambunctious and lovable. I’m the best. Space Kid: Now, hold on, guys. I think we all know who the best camper is around here. Space Kid: Heh, yeah, fair enough. David: Now, kids. Let’s not spend time arguing over who’s the best. You’re all the best! Neil: Literally impossible. Now, why don’t we all put this silly bet aside and focus on welcoming Jermy to- Jermy: Fartz. David: Jermy… Fartz to Camp Campbell! Who’s up for a nature hike? What’s this? I hate to be a Deborah Downer, but this letter from my mom, Mrs. Fartz, says I can’t go on hikes due to my- *farts* -IBS. Max: Jesus Christ! Neil: Okay, guys. I’m drawing a line here. Back where I’m from, I used to be the loser kid that everyone laughed at and you know what? It sucked! I say we give this guy an honest shot. So, Jermy. Uhh… What kind of stuff did you get up to back home? Jermy: Well, on weekends, I would practice kissing with my dog, Chuckles. Neil: Oh. Yeah, it’s harder than you’d think. He never seems super into me, so I had to slather peanut butter all over my gums. Neil: I’m… going to wash this hand. Jermy: It was chunky, by the way. The peanut butter. Gwen: Emergency huddle! I am extremely disappointed in you kids. Nikki: What did we do? Gwen: Guys, Jermy is clearly a young boy with special needs. I just don’t think he’s all there. Now making fun of each other is all well and good, but this? This just is not cool. Jermy: Actually- -and I get this a lot- My numerous doctors have assured me that I am completely on track developmentally. I’m just another one of the guys, so let me have it! Gwen: Kid! I am trying, but you’ve got to work with me here. Jermy: Sorry. *Farts* Max: Christ, what is wrong with this fuc- Nikki: Max! The walls have ears. Gwen: Let’s go outside. Alright, kids, since today is going to be a bit- *Heavy breathing* – stressful! I have decided our morning activity will consist of yoga exercise and deep meditation. Max: Yeah, but I know the ins and out of this place. That’s what makes me the best. Neil: Why don’t we ask someone else? Nikki: Nerris, if you had to pick, who would you say is the best camper here? Nerris: Do you mean like, out of the three of you, or overall? Because it’s not any of you three. Neil: What? Come on! Nerris: It’s painfully obvious. I don’t remember if you guys ever found a gold dragon’s stone-filled gizzard to add to a mixture of Tarrasque Blood and 12-Headed Hydra bile necessary to cast Karsus’ Avatar. Because I did. Max: Sorry, Nerris. I don’t speak the language of dweeb- …I mean, while I do not agree with your assessment, I recognize your right to have an opinion. Gwen: Now, the best part about these activities is that they require no talking. Whatsoever. At all. So, without- Jermy: Miss Gwen. Gwen: [Sighs] Yes, Jermy. I’m gonna need a new pair of yogurt pants. Don’t you mean yoga pants? *Farts* Ooohh, not anymore. Max: Come on, kid! Are you- Uh… are you okay? Need any help with those- Jermy: Oh, no, I got it. Oh no, not again. Okay, he got here at 9:00 a.m. What time is it now? Neil: 9:12. Max: Oh, it’s gonna be a long day! [Music] Max: I can’t do this. I can’t fucking do this! Neil: Hang in there, Max! The day’s almost over. Max: He roasted Space Kid with his farts! Did you not see that? Preston: Ahem! The time has come for the final activity of the day. A stunning performance piece/improvisational fusion. Now, I’ll need a suggestion from the audience. Quick! Someone shout out a theme! David: Ooh! Ooh! The forest! Preston: Hooo boy, that is really- – acceptable! Under these conditions. So, I will work with it! Everyone search inward for the part of the forest that calls most to you. Once you’ve found your muse, you will design a costume and give a brief performance on its behalf. Now get to it! Please. Nikki: Done! Jermy: I sure hope my nervous vomiting doesn’t kick in. Max: He can’t be real! Oh god, I’m gonna crack and live the rest of my life as a Wood Scout! Nurf: Actually, we’ve been talking about this. Cuz, yeah, we exist. And we decided that I’m the best camper. Ered: Hold up. I thought we agreed I was the best camper. I’m the coolest. Harrison: But I’m the most magical! Nerris: No! I’m the most magical! Dolph: Yet I’m the most adorable! Preston: And I’m the only one who seems to be taking this theater performance seriously! Jermy: Hey, guys. I finished my costume. Guess what I am… Space Kid: Uh, a bundle of sticks? *Max’s neck cracks* FFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAA- Neil: He’s gonna burst! David: Okay, who’s our first performer? Jermy: Guess it’s my time to shine. Oh, beans. Max: Oh God, he’s b- Ladies and gentlemen, for my performance piece, I chose to represent the sticks of the pine tree. David: *Laughs* Pine? *Continues laughing* That’s clearly birch! Birch! You big dummy! *Laughs* Oopsie. *Whistle blows* No, wait, I didn’t mean it! I’m the nice one! Pikeman: Well, well, well, you finally blew it. Good job, Petrol. And you lost! Max: I can’t fucking believe you, you stupid moron! Suck a dick! Oh God, that feels better. Now as per our agreement, the Wood Scouts will take Camp Campbell’s best camper. Now… Who’s it gonna be…? Neil: No! Not Jermy Fartz! Jermy: Me? Max: Yeah, Neil, what are you talking about? Jermy’s the wors- oof Uh… Yeah, anyone but Jermy Fartz. Nikki: Yeah, don’t take Jermy! Space Kid: He’s my best friend! Dolph: He is radiant und marvelous! Pikeman: *Laughs* Well, it seems like the choice is obvious. Very well, then! You’re coming with us. Jermy: You don’t want me! I’m the worst. Pikeman: And so modest, too. We’ll see how Camp Campbell survives without Jermy Fartz. Pikeman: *Laughs* Gwen: Way to go, idiot. Max: We really dodged a bullet there. Neil: What the hell were you thinking? Nikki: Yeah, David. That wasn’t very nice. David: Look, guys. *Laughs nervously* When there are people who are difficult to- It’s just that- sometimes the nicest thing to do is- I… uh. Sometimes! Just… Sometimes, okay! Sometimes! Nikki: Oooh! I get it. He was a fa- [Least Likely To Succed by Richie Branson]

100 thoughts on “Camp Camp: Season 2, Episode 4 – Jermy Fartz | Rooster Teeth

  1. Theory: The Wood Scouts want to forcibly take campers but if they can't they use these challenges to force their morals on others hence why that whistle wasn't blown for even a hint of rudeness from anyone.

  2. Wheeze lol I love they made him be a bundle of wood which was the original definition of a ffffffffffffffa••••••

  3. Jermy sounds like Laura Schmidt from game grumps

    Edit: OH MY GOD NERIS CAN CAST KARSUS’ AVATAR?! SHE CAN USE EPIC MAGIC BY HERSELF?!

  4. I'm curious, what was Nikki about to say at the end…
    Can someone please tell me
    Plus I like that I relate to Max on a lot of levels 🤔😂

  5. Everyone calls one another the worst names possible and David gets called out for calling someone a dummy?

    Wow.

  6. So I’m coming back to this and I’ve had a theory that I’ve always thought:
    David isn’t mean to ANYONE so why would he call Jermy a big dummy?? Cmon it’s DAVID. He knew Max was breaking. Perhaps he did it so Max wouldn’t be blamed? That “oopsies” wasn’t very convincing and I never believed it. Idk just a theory don’t attack me ok

  7. Anyway I was thinking Max said worst than that😂😂😂😂😂😂 I'm a little sad because he said things "normal" from what I expected😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  8. How to stop Max's rage:
    step 1: Doggy pile him to shut him up.
    step 2: keep him from being all Kacchan like

    plus Max cracks his neck where he's on verge of having a rage quit

  9. David you should have said that some things come out that don't mean to come out cause it's true you idiot uh sorry oops

  10. 8:00 In the first episode, Neil complained about how the lab equipment was made of wood and unprofessional. But now they all of a sudden havegraspers, vials, test tubes, safety goggles, chemicals, and even a Bunsen burner.

  11. Jesus. How does jermy even exist? He doesn’t have special needs at all and he is apparently sane yet doesn’t acknowledge how gross he is? Yup. We broke gross out humor folks. And I am dang proud of it

  12. Jeremy was surrounded by sticks. A bundle of sticks. Bundle of sticks=faggot
    Nikki: "Oh I get it, he was a fa-"

  13. Knew this kid in school who was actually a lot weirder and grosser than germy, made me laugh coz this episode reminded me of him

  14. Ok, who else is reminded of Laura Schmidt from that game grumps thing whenever Jeremy’s voice comes on.

  15. I don’t get the “ Fa-
    joke. So I just want someone to tell me what to search to understand cause I’m dumb.

  16. Jerrmie fartz: "I finished my coustme guess what I am?"

    Space kid: "uhhh… a bundle of sticks?"

    Max: cracks

    Max: "FAAA-"

    Neil: "HE'S GONE RED"

    EVERONE: PILES OVER HIM

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