Ninh explains, The Worst Fan Giveaways in
Sports. Ah sports teams – they’ll do anything
to try and entice you into their stadiums, and that includes giving away free stuff.
Now, I like stuff, especially if it’s free. But some teams really shouldn’t bother because
they don’t get the concept of trying to make people actually come back to the stadium
to watch more games. These are some of the worst fan giveaways
you’ll ever see. Zim-bear – Tampa Bay Rays.
Imagine a teddy bear that had sexual relations with Don Zimmer, the stony faced manager of
the Tampa Bay Rays – and you get this, the ZimBear. This creepy monstrosity was an actual
giveaway in 2012, and you’d think that no-one would actually take one of these things home
because of the … you know … weirdness and all. But people actually liked the damn
thing and it was so successful, they repeated the same promotion a month later. Those people
in Tampa must really hate the crappy play on the field if they came back TWICE just
for a creepy little teddy bear. School folders, Toledo MudHens
Minor league baseball is jam packed full of stupid giveaways. And the Mudhens are no exception.
I have no idea why they decided to give away paper-based school folders. But you don’t
get just one school folder, no no no, you get three – which demonstrates the sheer
generosity (or stupidity) of the Mud Hens marketing department. Seriously guys, why? Circular Seat Cushions, Toronto FC
To celebrate the inaugural game of Toronto’s brand-new MLS team, each fan in attendance
was given a commemorative seat cushion. ‘That’s a pretty good gift’, I hear you say. But,
when Danny Dichio scores their first ever goal – those seat cushions became oversized
frisbees that littered the entire field. And it took forever for the ground staff to clear
them out of the way. Funnily enough, Toronto FC has never given away seat cushions ever
again. Similar incidences have happened to Florida
Panthers with plastic rats, and hockey hard hats from the Chicago Blackhawks. Good ideas
in theory, but … Wise men bobble heads – Nashville sounds
Bobble heads are a common giveaway and if it’s of a cool player, it’s actually kinda
collectable. But I think the promotional team at the Nashville Sounds have been smoking
the ganja, because they decided to make bobbleheads of the three wise men – even though nobody
knows what they actually look like – if they even existed at all. And to make matters
worse, they gave them away … in July. 5 months before Christmas. Toiletry bags – Chicago Cubs.
The Cubs really hit a low point in 2013 where their game night promotion was giving away
toiletry bags. Not those fancy ones that you buy in a shop of course, the ones that you
typically find at any international airport. That they give away. For free. To every passenger
that walks through it’s terminals. Well, at least you won the world series recently,
so you can use that to make people forget about your terrible promotions – I guess. Mike Trout Fish Hat – LA Angels.
Mike Trout has an interesting last name … I know, let’s cash in on it? Yes, the Angels
marketing department gave away hats in the shape of trouts and I don’t know who in
their right mind wore this outside of the stadium, but you can still find them on eBay
from time to time. Unfortunately, none of these sellers ship to England. Which is a
shame, because I was planning on wearing this at my upcoming wedding. 10 cent beer night. Cleveland Indians.
10c for a beer, that’s fantastic! And you could buy 6 at a time?! What’s the worst
that could happen? Apart from fans getting so drunk off cheap beer that they fought each
other, vomited everywhere, ran onto the field, stole the bases and rioted to the point where
the game was eventually abandoned, you mean? In hindsight, it was a complete disaster,
but hey at least the beer was cheap. A bag of shit – Seattle Mariners.
In 2011 – the Mariners were on some kind of green phase and their most notable contribution
to saving the environment? Giving away bags of soil for the first 5,000 fans to enter
Safeco Field. Yay, compost, that’ll make a great valentine’s day gift. Nothing says
I love you more than a literal bag of crap that you got from a ballpark. Bubble Wrap – Altoona Curve
The undisputed kings of giving away garbage gifts is the Altoona Curve Baseball team.
In fact, they actually do it on purpose. Some of their ‘wonderful’ giveaways include
useless squares of bubble wrap – which wasn’t big enough to protect anything you send in
the mail. And photographs of removed gallbladders. You know, just because every baseball fan
needs to see what a removed gall bladder looks like. How much do I not want to go to an Altoona
Curve game, right about now? Urine Cups – Vero Beach Devil Rays.
As part of an anti-doping promotion in 2008, the Vero Beach Devil Rays gave away 200 pee
cups to the first 200 fans in attendance. I’m not actually sure what the fans did
with those cups and I don’t know what’s actually worse. Giving away the urine cups
in the first place, implying that those first 200 fans are on steroids like McGwire, or
only being able to afford just 200 cups. A funeral – Lehigh Valley IronPigs.
In 2013, the IronPigs were having a ‘celebrate life’ promotion … and they commemorated
this by giving away a bloody funeral. Yes, one lucky fan walked away from the ballpark
with an all expenses paid trip to a hole in the ground or really hot oven of their choice.
It sounds kinda kooky, but I’d still take that over a bag of soil and a Mike Trout Fish
hat any day of the week. Have you been to a sports event and received
a really crap gift? Was it worse than any of these? As always, like, share and subscribe
and let us all know in the comments section below, so that we can have some of these “marketing
executives” fired for their gross ineptitude. Ninh Ly – @NinhLyUK – www.ninh.co.uk